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Listen to thisIt is suggested that the discipline of mentoring originated from a character in Homer’s Odyssey called Mentor. Mentor was actually the goddess Athene in disguise and her role was to accompany the young man Telemachus on a quest to find his father, Odysseus. Although Telemachus was rash and impetuous, he was also full of potential which required the proper channelling in order to manifest positive outcomes for himself and others. Mentor steers Telemachus through his journey of transformation, and he learns about the arts and crafts of enlightened rulership. At the end of the story, he is prepared and empowered to return to Ithaca to replace his father on the throne. ‘Telemaque’ was first published in France in 1699, and then across Europe with phenomenal success and by 1750, the name Mentor had become a label that one applied to a skilled advisor.
What is mentoring?
Mentoring is, first and foremost, a relationship between two people, one of them a person with desirable qualities, knowledge, experience and skills (called a mentor), and another person who is prepared to learn from them (called a mentee).
The mentor offers support and guidance to the mentee to reach their personal and/or professional goals. They are a trusted and experienced advisor who focuses on passing on personalised, domain-specific knowledge and competence through various relationship-focused methods. This process may involve helping to set and clarify goals and objectives and creating a space for reflective learning in which the mentee can grow and experience success. Mentors remain open to learning themselves and realise that they can also learn from the mentee during the life of this relationship.
The mentee takes responsibility for their own learning and role in the relationship by showing initiative and following through on action plans. The mentorship relationship is reciprocal and collaborative in nature. Together the mentor and mentee shape the relationship, sharing knowledge and reaching consensus about the mentee’s desired learning. The learning goals are articulated early in the life of the relationship so that the process can be meaningful and address the specific learning needs of the mentee.
Mentoring can follow a formal or informal format. Formal mentoring relationships may be found in organisations where suitable individuals are recruited as mentors as part of a company’s talent management strategy and the process may therefore be more structured with clear learning outcomes. Informal mentoring, on the other hand, may develop naturally when a practitioner develops a relationship with someone, inside or outside of the same organisation, who they consider to be a role model and from whom they would like to learn. This may be a less structured form of mentoring and learning objectives may be less defined.
Mentoring models or approaches may be described based on how these relationships develop, the social situation or the structure of the mentoring process. For example, peer mentoring may involve individuals in similar positions while in supervisory mentoring, the mentor occupies a higher position in the organization than the mentee. The nature of the relationship may be more egalitarian and open, or hierarchical and structured. Mentoring is also not exclusively an individual process and may take place in a group format. Various models have been developed to structure the process of mentoring, such as the GROW model (Mind Tools, 2023) and the 5 C’s Model (Keele University). The GROW model follows the following key steps in the mentoring process from which the acronym GROW is derived:
Similarly, the 5 C’s Model is structured within five key areas that provide a map for the mentoring journey, namely:
While each of these descriptions or models of mentoring provide some way to structure the mentoring relationship and process, they do not adequately reflect the unique relational approach of Child and Youth Care practice and its focus on the use of daily life events. A mentoring approach and model that will be effective in guiding and supporting child & youth care practitioner mentees would need to embrace the same philosophy and processes that are central to Relational Child & Youth Care (CYC) Practice.
A Child & Youth Care approach to mentoring therefore applies the philosophy and principles of Relational CYC Practice in the mentorship relationship and in particular the following principles are highlighted.
A Relational CYC Approach to Mentoring
When the mentoring style and approach is grounded in Relational CYC Practice principles and methods, the mentoring process and methodology are not different from Relational CYC Practice. Rather, it is child and youth care practice applied to the context of practitioner support and development. In particular, the mentor applies the principles of Relational CYC Practice (Garfat et.al., 2018) and a daily life events approach and for this reason this approach is described here as Relational Child & Youth Care (CYC) Mentoring. To demonstrate how Relational CYC Mentoring is grounded in a Relational CYC approach, it is necessary to briefly describe and explore what is meant by Relational CYC Practice.
Relational CYC Practice emphasises the role of the practitioner as being in-the-moment with children and young people, experiencing their lives with them as it unfolds (Winfield, 2008). It is an approach which is inclusive, rights-based, anti-oppressive and trauma-informed. Particular attention is directed towards what Garfat et.al. refer to as “the in-between between us” (2018, p.14), the relationship that forms between the practitioner and the child or young person and the meaning that they attach to the relationship. Both practitioner and young person contribute to creating the relationship and are shaped by the relationship at the same time (Fewster, 1990). It is from this position that Stuart (2014) then argues that the relationship is the intervention.
Relational CYC Practice is a way of being in the world with others in which the focus is on moments of connection and togetherness (Gharabaghi, 2019), which is appropriate as most of our problems in communities are rooted in our disconnection from one another (Freeman, 2021). A relational approach to connecting and caring for others is a step toward building more trauma-responsive communities that support human rights and respect the dignity of every individual (Freeman, 2021). The Relational Child & Youth Care approach is also described through a collection of characteristics that developed from years of experiences and had been influenced by various voices along the way (Garfat, Freeman, Gharabaghi & Fulcher, 2018). The characteristics describe how practitioners can be with others as they encounter and interact with them in the everyday moments of life and collectively find meaning in their experiences of the world around them. This approach binds together various professionals who participate in the field of child and youth care practice, such as child and youth care workers, trainers, youth advocates, community development workers, social workers or researchers. Within a relational approach, all of these practitioners are bound together by their shared approach to the work, the way in which they think about and carry out their work. It is “how we are with young people, in all of their diversity and life experiences” (Garfat et al, 2018, p.14).
The mentoring relationship is not merely the result of agreed-upon goals and tasks, but a relational space in which the mentor and mentee co-create and experience moments of connectedness and safety. This relational space is both the result of the expression of the characteristics of Relational CYC practice as well as a space that encourages the expression of these characteristics. In this relationship, the mentee experiences the power of a Relational CYC approach and is guided by the mentor to also give expression to these experiences in their relational care of children and young people. It is, in essence, about a way of being in the world with others.
CYC mentoring and supervision
Supervision is often a professional and formal process whereby practitioners receive guidance and support from a more experienced and senior practitioner. When working from within a Relational Child and Youth Care philosophy, supervision is grounded in a daily life events approach to reflect the characteristics of Relational Child and Youth Care Practice (Charles, Freeman & Garfat, 2016). Support and guidance that takes place on-the-go brings an intentional focus on in-the-moment interactions in the working life-space. It is about being with practitioners in the everyday, helping them grow and develop in the context of their practice. The same holds true for mentoring: the process and method of mentoring should reflect the relational philosophy and characteristics of the Child & Youth Care profession. In this way, the practitioner learns about a way of being with others through experiencing that way of being in the mentorship relationship. Garfat (2001), referring to supervision, says that the approach to, and form of, supervision (or in this case mentoring) should model the form and approach of effective practice to help staff learn that approach. The mentoring interactions then provide a parallel and congruent experience of Relational CYC practice which creates an opportunity for experiential learning as opposed to a theoretical discussion.
In addition to the characteristics of Relational Child & Youth Care practice, Charles, Gabor & Matheson (1992, in Charles et.al., 2016) identify positive and negative characteristics of supervisors. For example, positive and desirable characteristics include acceptance, positive role modelling, providing clear explanations of policies, interventions and procedures and giving concrete feedback while undesirable characteristics include a lack of directness, unavailability, negativity and defensiveness. As the mentor embraces these positive characteristics it shapes the relational space, the in-between between us and the quality of the mentoring provided. This points to the importance of mentors being highly self-reflective and relational in their focus. It is worthy to note that the positive characteristics of supervisors (as identified above) are closely connected to the characteristics of Relational Child & Youth Care practice, which reinforces the notion that there is a strong relationship between Child & Youth Care practice and supervision (Charles et.al., 2016).
Transferable skills
Many of the skills and competencies of Relational CYC practice can be transferred to supervision and mentoring (Charles, Freeman & Garfat, 2016), for example:
Other transferable skills include being experiential, appreciating uniqueness, being flexible and consistent, acceptance and validation, cultural agility and developmental awareness. The implementation of Child and Youth Care methods and skills within a mentoring relationship further aligns the mentoring approach to the principles of Relational CYC practice and results in an approach to learning and development that is congruent with the principles of practice.
A model for Relational Child & Youth Care mentoring
The model of mentoring suggested below closely follows the Relational CYC philosophy of change articulated by Thom Garfat (2019). This supports a mentoring approach which is aligned and congruent with the principles Relational CYC Practice.
Garfat (2019) articulates this approach from the perspective of the person who might benefit from change:
In the context of a relationship of safety
I notice that I might benefit from a change.
I am supported in taking
the risk to try something different
from what I usually do.
Having a positive experience of that new way of doing or being,
this
becomes my new way in the world.
Within this philosophy of change, we can discern different components of change and growth from this perspective, extrapolate the themes of each component and distil it down to its core elements.
From Garfat’s philosophy of change, six main elements of growth and change are identified which can provide the CYC mentor with a structure for the principles of mentoring.
Relationship of safety
The relationship of safety is central to all the other processes that combine to form this relational mentoring model. It is a prerequisite for growth and change and implies that in the absence of a relationship of safety, positive growth and change is unsupported and unlikely to occur or be sustained. In simple terms, relational safety refers to the experience of feeling safe within a relationship (Garfat, 2015). A trauma-informed perspective supports the relationship of safety as a prerequisite for any other developmental work (Bath, 2008).
Garfat (2015) says the following:
“When one experiences relational safety, one feels like there is no threat to self, that one can experiment and take risks, that it is OK to be themselves in the context of this relationship” (p.5)
“Relational safety is central to effective helping interactions and interventions” (p.5)
“In Relational Child & Youth Care Practice, we focus on the characteristics of the relationship itself - e.g. is it a safe place? Is it a place of connectedness, of learning, etc.?” (p.5)
“Relational safety is the outcome of the effective use of a Child & Youth Care Approach as identified through the 25 characteristics of Relational Child & Youth Care Practice” (p.5)
“... a CYC approach in creating relational safety creates a context to address the three pillars of trauma informed care…” (p.5)
The mentor is aware that relational safety is something that is experienced by the mentee - if the mentee does not experience a feeling of safety in the context of this relationship, relational safety has not yet been established and this remains the primary goal before any other developmental work is attempted.
To be effective in building a relationship of safety with the mentee, the mentor must be able to create environments that can be experienced as safe, for example a relationship (relational space) in which it is safe to take some risk without fear of judgement. The mentor also has to create an awareness of the mutuality of relationships and an awareness that meaning is co-constructed within relational encounters.
Noticing and awareness
An essential element of purposeful development is that we aspire to something different. For this to happen, we must become aware of a gap between our current state and our desired state. This awareness happens through a process of noticing (Garfat, 2019), when we intentionally direct our attention to our internal and external experiences.
Noticing what is happening in here refers to an awareness of our own internal thoughts and emotions, including our values, perceptions, biases and physiological responses. Noticing what happens out there is our awareness of the other person and everything we can observe about them in the present moment, as well as any other knowledge we have about them (TransformAction International, 2013) and the current context. As we notice the behaviours of others, we may ask what it means within the context of our interaction with them. We might observe their behaviour and physiological responses and reactions in the current moment, which may lead us to speculate that they are, for example, relaxed and calm, or agitated and nervous.
While both the in here and out there are critical domains of noticing, perhaps the most important focus in Relational CYC practice is what happens in the in-between between us. This is an awareness of the mutually co-created experience which may be of connectedness or disconnection, safety or lack thereof, contained space or chaotic and unpredictable. The mentor strives to co-create, together with the mentee, a relational space of safety which is most conducive for learning and growth.
The awareness that we develop through our intentional noticing of these dimensions allows us to be purposeful in our actions. What we notice informs how we choose our responses; noticing supports intentionality.
As the mentor practises self-awareness and notices aspects of themselves, the mentee and the relationship, they also help the mentee to develop an awareness of these aspects. In the context of the learning and development of the mentee, noticing can help the mentee to become aware of their own learning and development needs. It may draw their attention to various aspects in which they may experience a need for growth, such as personal values, beliefs or child and youth care theories and methods. Self-awareness allows the mentee to notice where they might benefit from change and further development so that these areas for growth can be further supported.
Support and connection
The mentee is supported in taking the risk to try something new. This might involve implementing a new understanding of theory or new techniques or methods; it might be a different way to try to connect with a young person or it may be a new way of thinking about the relationship between the mentee and the young person.
The support provided by the mentor can take many forms, such as providing encouragement or information; even criticism can be supportive when it is constructive. Support may even be intentional silence in a moment when the mentee can answer their own question to be empowered from within. Support is what the mentee needs to help them understand themselves and others in their situation and what they need to do to strengthen relational safety and provide connectedness. Support helps them understand the needs of those they work with (as well as their own needs) and how to help those individuals meet their needs in healthy ways. Support helps the mentee to navigate the difficult terrain of relationships.
Risking something new
Risking means moving beyond our comfort zone. Taking a risk to try something new can be daunting and scary, but individuals are much more likely to risk something new if they are supported. The mentee risks failure and also getting hurt in the process; even the experienced CYC practitioner risks rejection when they reach out to a young person and regardless of one’s training, it is not always easy to put away one’s personal feelings to be “objective and professional”. In fact, authentic connection and engagement requires personal investment and with that, taking a real interpersonal risk. The mentor helps the mentee understand their apprehension towards taking these kinds of risks and help them to identify risks that are healthy, intentional and purposeful from which they can grow.
Positive experiences
When we have a positive experience of something new, we are more likely to repeat the actions that lead to the experience. Positive experiences do not mean that every attempt is always successful, but even when we miss the mark we can still have a positive experience, if we are well supported. A positive experience can mean that we experience ourselves in a positive new way, perhaps as more confident and more intentional, regardless of whether our actions resulted in the intended outcome.
Mentors help provide positive experiences by helping mentees notice the progress they make, even if in small parts, by providing encouragement. Even when things go wrong, the process of reflecting on the experience can be positive and empowering when mentees uncover what they can do better next time and feel acknowledged for their efforts and intentions. The mentor helps the mentee to reframe what may initially be perceived as negative experiences into opportunities for growth and learning.
New way of doing becomes a new way of being
Behaviours repeated successfully and with positive results become habits, so that what we do to relate to others in more authentic and engaging ways can become our everyday way of being in all our interactions, in our daily lives wherever we go. The mentee integrates reflective practices into their everyday encounters as they become more intentional and relational in their interactions with those around them. The mentor celebrates these new ways of being with the mentee.
Conclusion
In any profession, learning and development can be supported by a mentor who can provide guidance and support in the practical matters concerning the everyday practice of the profession. In CYC practice, this is even more important since the nature of the tasks and daily challenges are dynamic and ever changing. While there are a number of mentoring models developed to provide structure to a mentoring process and relationship, the Relational CYC practitioner has a very specific way of being in relation to others. The mentoring process should be congruent with and support this mode of encounter with others. When mentoring is aligned to the principles and practice of Relational Child & Youth Care, it provides the practitioner with an experience of what relational encounters feel like and this first hand experience further strengthens their ability to implement these principles in their practice.
References
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Source: Relational Child and Youth Care Practice, 36/2, pp6-21
