Listen to thisHello everyone. I have decided to write a few columns on aspects of relational practice. Now, I understand that my take on relational practice may be different than other people’s but so be it – it is, so far, an as yet undefined orientation within our field – and, actually, on reflection, perhaps that is a good thing as it keeps us from getting ‘locked into’ a definition when we are still, I think, at the exploratory stages (see, for example, Digney 2024, Garfat et al, 2024). So, one can find various descriptions of relational practice in our field – indeed, look it up on www.cyc-net.org
In this series, I want to explore, in a few words (500 or less), aspects of what I think is relational CYC practice – and today, I focus on wonder and curiosity.
Wonder and curiosity
Essential aspects of relational CYC practice.
To be curious is to wonder about things. Always, as a relational CYC practitioner, I am wondering – I am curious – I want to know – whatever it is I need to know. Why does this young person act in this way? What brought her to this place at this time? Why is he acting like this rather than differently? What need of theirs is being met by their behaviour? Does it have to be this way? Curiosity – and wondering.
But I also am wondering about me – why am I acting as I am? What is motivating me in this moment? Why am I about to do what I am thinking of doing? How is what I am thinking of ding likely to impact on our relationship?
I used to tell people that my favourite role model for this aspect of Relational CYC Practice was Peter Falk as Colombo. If you have never watched one of his shows, find one and, what the heck, scroll to the end where he gathers prospective suspects and starts to ‘wonder’ … “I wonder,” he might say, what would cause … a person … to strike another person … over the head …” Well, you get the idea. And his wondering, his curiosity, always caused someone to come forth with important information.
And it does so for us. Being curious about a young person – not fact-gathering curiosity – but ‘who are you’ curiosity, helps a young person feel significant – like they matter – and is that not what we would wish for all the young people with who we work? That they would feel like they matter.
Curiosity and wonder not only help us to be helpful, but they help the young person feel like they are of significance.
References
Digney, J. (2024). The art of relational weaving. The CYC-Net Press. Cape Town, S.A.
Garfat, T., Gaitens, C., Hadley, J., and Leggett, A. (2024). Relational Child & Youth Care Practice: What it means to us. CYC-Online, 299.
