USA
When Felicita “Cece” Andres thinks back to her childhood Thanksgivings, it’s a mishmash. Some holidays were nice, others forgettable. Some were downright cruel.
When she was 5 years old, Child Protective Services took her from her biological parents, she said. Entering the foster system, Andres was bounced among about 10 different homes. Sometimes she stayed as long as three months, other times as little as a week and a half.
On one Thanksgiving when Andres was 12, she was fed Top Ramen while her foster parents went out for a nice holiday meal.
A holiday typically marked for most by tradition and family, Thanksgiving is all too often referred to by those who came through the foster care system – including Andres – as “just another day.”
“It’s just like a lot of other holidays and birthdays,” Andres said. “Some are good, some are bad. It’s just awkward when you’re not in a home for that long. You don’t know these people and they don’t know you.”
So to celebrate Thanksgiving, scores of kids who came through the system headed Wednesday to The Dream Center, a one-stop resource center for foster youth, for a traditional meal with the only family members many of them know – each other.
They feasted on turkey with gravy, mashed potatoes, salad, cranberry sauce and stuffing, and went home with sandwiches and salads that Qwik Cafe donates weekly to The Dream Center.
Between bites, Andres pointed back to the buffet to Curt Williams, Kern County Superintendent of Schools Office director of foster youth services, who was ladling out mashed potatoes and gravy. Eighteen years ago, he was her first social worker.
“That’s my dad,” she said. “He believes in me. He’s seen me grow up.”
And when it looks like Andres might be veering off the wrong path, Williams puts her in check, she said, just like a dad should.
Likewise, 20-year-old Alexis Dean gestured back at her social worker.
“If it wasn’t for this woman back here, I swear, I’d be in an insane asylum,” Dean said.
Dean’s story isn’t as severe as others. For most of her life, she found a steady placement. Yet she knows that around the holidays, things get tough for most.
“Lots of kids feel they’re not wanted,” Dean said. She’s acutely aware that when most kids are placed, it’s often for just a couple of months before something doesn’t work out and they’re shuffled to another foster parent, or a group home.
“It’s not enough time to engage and come to know anybody,” Dean said. “A lot of foster parents are in it for the money. It’s only a matter of time before kids want to run.”
And for foster kids who had been shuffled around as many homes as some are, it’s not worth getting excited for a holiday, said Mercedes Calixtro, a 28-year-old who grew up bouncing around different homes, and now trains foster parents.
“To me, it was just another day,” Calixtro said of Thanksgiving. “It wasn’t something I wanted to celebrate. In my head it’s like: I’ll be gone in two weeks anyways.”
Her real family, she said – aside from one woman who she was placed with long term when she was 16 and remains close to – are the other kids who came through the foster care system with her and understand her experiences. ‘
“It’s heartwarming to know there are others who feel the way I did,” she said.
She, too, was helping others at The Dream Center Wednesday, where staff members were greeting kids at the door like family, checking up on them and making sure they would be OK for the long weekend.
When Cassie Alonso, another foster youth, walked in the door, she greeted Andres with a hug.
“This right here,” Andres said. “This is the closest thing we get to Thanksgiving.”
By Harold Pierce
23 November 2017
