Since it's founding in 1997, the CYC-Net discussion group has been asked thousands of questions. These questions often generate many replies from people in all spheres of the Child and Youth Care profession and contain personal experiences, viewpoints, as well as recommended resources.
Below are some of the threads of discussions on varying Child and Youth Care related topics.
Questions and Responses have been reproduced verbatim.
Listen to thisWhile we are taught to not react personally to
situations we are involved with, what are some “internal dialogue” that we
can utilize to take ourselves away from the situation and avoid reacting
suddenly?
Kate Morden
...
Hi Kate, the idea is to respond not react.
This is a complex in the moment assessment of others, self and context leading to a considered action followed by reflection on how the intervention went. Part of the intervention asks you to tune into your own feelings in the moment and also any context from your own personal history that may influence your action.
Can I suggest that you look at the work of Adrian Ward
'Opportunity Led' approaches.
Peace Jeremy
...
Hi Kate, there are a number of strategies and processes that will help you
build a response rather than reactive approach.
Debbie Carver wrote a piece for CYC-Online
in April 2011 entitled "This is
what you do to little girls? Rational Detachment in Youth Care". You
might find that interesting and helpful.
https://www.cyc-net.org/CYC-Online
/april2011.pdf#page=10
Kelly Shaw
...
I try to remember that it is not really me that they are truly mad at.
I also remember that if I react instead of act I am giving them the reaction
they were looking for. I save emotion for when things are going well.
Amanda Myalls
...
Hi Kate,
My name is Megan and I am currently in my second year of the Child and Youth Care counselling diploma at Mount Royal University in Calgary, AB. I have
been doing my full year practicum in a residential treatment facility that
focuses on reintegrating youth back into the community and helping them to
adjust from a confined and intrusive setting to a less intrusive and open
setting. Since this is my first real experience working with vulnerable
children and youth, I have been focusing lately on how to control my
reactions, as it is very difficult at some times. By talking with my
colleagues, I have concluded that sometimes it isn't a bad thing to show a
personal reaction to a client. I have a client that has had a very difficult
past month, and she actually appreciated that I reacted by showing some of
my emotions because it made her feel validated. Although showing personal
reaction at this time was appropriate, it is not always a good idea to react
personally.
As a person working with vulnerable children and youth, one of the most
important aspects of working in this field is to be self-aware. Child and
youth counsellors must know their own triggers and must set boundaries and
expectations with the youth they are working with. It is important to be
self-aware so that you do not unknowingly push your beliefs on your clients
or colleagues. Being self-aware will also help you to predict what kind of
situations would cause you to have strong reactions. Some individuals may
react strongly when hearing about abuse or neglect, whereas other
individuals may personally react when a client is swearing or refusing to
eat. Every person has different triggers, and being aware of those triggers
will help a person to control their personal reactions.
In this field of work, having emotional supports is also important because
"work with youth and families triggers many emotions that need to be vented
regularly, individually, with a colleague or supervisor, and collectively as
a team" (Maas & Ney, 2005). Emotional supports can help to validate your
reactions to situations, and will help to prevent burnout.
Personally, before I react to a situation, I try to ask myself what the most
beneficial reaction to the situation may be. This can be determined by
knowing the conflict cycle. According to the conflict cycle, there are
reactions that will help a situation, but there are also reactions that will
make a situation worse. It should always be the goal of the child and youth
counsellor to end the conflict cycle so that the client and counsellor can
work together to debrief on what happened. I also find it helpful before I
react to ask myself "why am I going to react like this?"
If I determine that my reaction is caused by a personal bias, I will
re-evaluate and try to react in a way that holds no biases.
Clearly, it is my belief that self-awareness could help you from personally
reacting to every situation. I hope that this has helped you in some way.
Good luck!
Thank you,
Megan Rietze
References
Maas, K., and Ney, D. (2005). Consultation as a complement to the
clinical supervision of youth care. Retrieved from
https://www.cyc-net.org/CYC-Online
/cycol-0605-maasney.html
...
Hi Kate,
I think the concept of responding as opposed to
merely reacting in Child and Youth Care work is crucial to the entire process. One framework
that I have found useful is the Cornell TCI "4 Silent Questions" approach:
1. What am I feeling now?
2. What does this young person feel, want or need?
3. How is the environment impacting the situation?
4. How can I best respond?
I once taught a course at a Community College on Crisis Intervention and
felt so strongly about the value of this framework that analyzing this was a
10 page mid-term. The beauty of it is if you do the first three the fourth
will have to happen as a result
Frank Delano
Piermont, New York
...
This is so Restorative...and we always need to start
with ourselves.
Rick Kelly
...
I like this.
Lorraine Fox
...
Hi Kate,
My name is Ashley Kernick and I am currently finishing my second year of the
Child and Youth Care Counselling Diploma Program at Mount Royal University
in Calgary Alberta. I am currently doing my practicum at a residential
program for pregnant and parenting teens. At times I think everyone in this
field of work, finds themselves in a situation where they are dealing with a
difficult child or youth. These situations may result in the inability to
control their own personal emotions. Long (1991) stated that, "The
aggressive student has never learned to tolerate normal amounts of
frustration, disappointment or anxiety. Instead of owning these feelings, he
gives them away by attacking or depreciating everyone in sight" (p.47).
As professionals working with vulnerable children and youth I believe the
most important thing in these situations is to positively respond and not
react to the behaviours. We have to remember that in most cases aggressive
behaviours are a result of many different feelings and may be the only way
in which the child or youth knows how to react. If we respond to these
situations in a negative way (yelling and screaming) the child or youth will
become more stressed and therefore a power struggle will occur. The client
and the worker will continue to act in the same manner and the conflict will
intensify and a positive outcome will not be reached.
Another important factor in working with children and youth is being
self-aware and knowing what your own personal beliefs and values are. When a
particular conflict arises and we as counsellors don't respond in a positive
way, it is important for us to realize why we had that response. Every
individual has certain triggers that will impact the way in which they deal
with specific situations such as, anorexia, substance abuse or neglect. Long
(1991) found that, "The need to understand the relationship between our
history and our perception of a current conflict with select students is not
easy, but it is essential to our role and function as a therapeutic helper"
(p.46). By being conscious of these personal triggers you will be able
to control your emotions and reactions, as well set boundaries with the
children and youth that you are working with.
Reference
Long, Nicholas, J. (1991). What Fritz Redl Taught Me About Aggression:
Residential Treatment for Children & Youth. Haworth Press,
Inc, 43-55
Ashley Kernick
