Transcripts of some of the discussions on CYC-Net's email discussion group
2015
Hi everyone,
I am looking to find some literature on the CYC response to working with parents and children of parents who engage in the practice of 'overparenting' or 'helicopter parenting'.
I am finding that I am coming into contact with this type of parenting style more and more within my work at the school board and am seeking out some information on best practices with parents/guardians in terms of boundaries, communication and promoting positive parenting skills as well as best practices for working with children who have increased levels of dependency, limited problem solving skills, anxiety, concerns around attachment and responsibility.
Thank you in advance!
Ashley
Child and Youth Counsellor
...
Hi Ashley,
One of the most helpful parenting books is Kim John Payne on Simplicity
Parenting. Here’s the reference:
Payne, K. J. (2010). Simplicity parenting: Using the extraordinary
power of less to raise calmer, happier, and more secure kids. New
York, NY: Ballentine.
Website:
www.simplicityparenting.com
It covers the themes of decluttering the environment, increasing rhythm
and connection, scheduling for being and less doing, and unplugging to
reduce the impact of the media. I think it addresses helicopter
parenting by helping them see what do to instead.
Of course there is also Lenore Skenazy’s Free Range Kids.
Skenazy, L. (2010). Free-range kids: How to raise safe, self-reliant
children without going nuts with worry. Hoboken, NJ: Jossey-Bass.
Website: www.freerangekids.com
Best of luck to you!
James Freeman
...
Hi Ashley,
I have worked in a few school systems and experienced this scenario as
well. I have found that it can take a joint effort to reduce and
diminish over-parenting. Any change in family dynamics takes time and
sensitivity. Just as a child's behaviour serves a purpose, the same goes
for the parent(s). There is a reason why they are "over-parenting". I
like to acknowledge a parent's care for their child, instead of a
message that states, "You are parenting wrong"; for in fact they do
care, but may not know the best way in how to parent. In addition to
this approach, speak of working together with the parent(s) towards
their child's developmental health and wellbeing such as their child's
independence skills/mastery over a task they cannot do alone. Having the
parent(s) being part of the team in this transition can bring about a
more positive experience and support the adjustment on both parent(s)
and child.
I personally don't have any literature on hand but quickly found this on
Google:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/compassion-matters/201204/the-abuse-overparenting
At the end of this article, there are links that
will allow one to explore more. I am sure there is literature out there
to be found via researching this particular topic.
Hope this helps.
Mary Anne
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