The complete set of 198 Hints are available in paperback from the CYC-Net Press store.
Listen to this
Sometimes kids are referred to our program because of very specific "problems" for which we are expected to find "solutions" Usually these solutions are simply that the kids will stop doing the problems. This can hook us into the cycle of "What’s a good antidote for stealing, drugging, disrespect, failing grades, aggressive behaviour ...?" – and we can then burden ourselves and the kids with the belief that all their waking hours should be filled with appropriate remedial activities.
Of course it may true be that there are specific problems which do call for specific management or treatment approaches. And it may please our funders when we can demonstrate that today young Archie or Marybelle received x hours of problem-specific therapy. But it is seldom true that the "problem" we deal with in our practice is as straightforward and obvious as a wart or a tummy-ache.
Our problem more often arises from extended experience of neglect, loss, rejection, confusion, anxiety, abuse, tension, despair ... and usually the quality of the milieu we create – its ethos, climate, relationships, possibilities, containment – will contribute more to healing and growth than specific treatments.
At the end of the day we might more legitimately ask (less quantitatively and more qualitatively): "What kind of day did Archie or Marybelle have? Did they enjoy experiences of attention-getting, engagement, respect, acceptance, meaning, reassurance, safety, calm and hope?" And if they did have such positive experiences, can they fail to be (however slightly) different people tonight? Of course we have to address the tangible issues the children and youth bring with them; but are we just as good at the intangibles? If we are, then we will very often find that their specific "problems" are "unnecessary".
