Listen to thisI am one of the Hartford 17 – one of the 17 people arrested for blocking traffic at Central Row in Hartford in a Moral Monday action against racism on June 8.
Then, I got a text from my father asking me to "explain this to him." I felt like a teenager in trouble rather than a 60-year-old who doesn't need to explain anything to anybody. But he forced me to really think about why I did this.
My reasons are personal and professional. Because altruism is really self-interest dressed to go out, I will start with the personal.
Personally, I feel the effect of the insidious disease that is racism. Institutionalized segregation meant that I grew up robbed of the experience that comes from knowing, loving, being taught by, learning from, laughing with and being in life with people who are different than me.
Prejudice passed down through the generations means that I have to unlearn tenacious childhood lessons about who to fear. As an adult, I see the visceral, daily terror of people I love who fear for the lives of their sons and daughters every time they leave the house. As a parent of a child for whom that will never be an issue, it hurts my heart.
As a white woman, I also realize that, for me, getting arrested was a privilege. There is no harm that will come to me. I won't lose my job or have trouble finding one – I could even put it on my resume. I expected – and received – gentle treatment from the police. I don't need to wonder if I am going to be targeted now that I am "in the system."
I felt weird when some folks thanked me for demonstrating. Why thank me for doing the right thing? Then, one said what I chose to do made it possible for her – for whom the consequences might have been much different – to choose not to.
Professionally, I am the executive director of True Colors, a social justice organization focused on the needs of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender children, youth and young adults. I get paid to be a lesbian – and how cool is that? I also get paid to walk down a harsh path with kids who deserve much more from life. Some of those kids are white and lots are black or brown. Almost all of them were rejected by their families because of their orientation, gender identity or expression.
Which of their identities is most likely to get them killed? Their race? Their gender expression? Who they love? Nine transgender women of color have been murdered in America since Jan. 1. It is clear that our black, brown and transgender kids are the most at risk. Don't you wonder where home is for these youth? Where is the one place where they can bring their whole selves? That brought me to a moment where I became one of the Hartford 17.
I have pushed for LGBT civil rights legislation in Connecticut since the early 1990s. White leadership worked to engage communities of color, particularly clergy, in the fight for marriage equality. Beyond the symbolic meaning of marriage, the benefits are largely financial. Those benefits disproportionately accrue to higher economic groups. In a racist America, that means the benefits are more likely to help white folks. And white folks came out in droves with their passion, energy, resources and contacts to work for marriage equality (see altruism and self-interest?). Nothing wrong with that, really. It is very human.
But, isn't it time for white folks to recognize and act on the self-interest inherent in ending systemic racism? We tend to think of racism as only affecting people of color, who are daily and disproportionately injured by racism. But racism hurts white folks too. We learn a whitewashed history that glamorizes and distorts white actions, leaves out the myriad contributions of people of color and creates a false sense of superiority. We lose out on the potential for rich, vibrant relationships because of the fear and distrust that racism engenders. Poor and middle class white folks often can't see, let alone fight, the ways that we are exploited economically by the upper classes because we have been so well taught to scapegoat people of color.
It makes me wonder why white queer folks, who asked people of color to support issues that disproportionately benefited us, are not now standing shoulder to shoulder, civil rights activist to civil rights activist in the fight against racism? Black lives matter: How can we not be there?
Robin P. McHaelen is executive director of True Colors
Inc. in Hartford.
21 June 2015
