19 MARCH 2010
NO 1556
A child's security
- Make yourself available to a child
or young person as she or he moves into their room, at the same time
being ever mindful about not moving in too quickly. Help with
practical matters, an extra blanket or pillow, a hot water bottle,
juice, biscuits, fruit extension leads, light bulbs, coat hangers,
waste basket, tissues – all are legitimate options that assist
settling in through enhancing bodily comfort.
- Give special attention to each
child or young person's Memory Box, a designated container or place
where personal mementos, treasures and trivia can be saved. Without
a Memory Box, it is easy for these special photos, trinkets and
objects of importance to become lost, especially when looked after
children or young people have histories of moving from place to
place.
- Help to keep the young person's
Memory Box safe and encourage them to keep adding memories to it.
- Help make a young person's bedroom
a welcoming, safe and comfortable place, complete with a desk and
chair for homework.
- Share household chores with the
child or young person instead of leaving a list of chores to
complete on their own. Children and young people learn important
lessons through doing chores that help them achieve order and
organization in their life, a foundation for feeling safe and secure
in the future.
- Work out what are the young
person's favourite foods and invite them to help you make that food
or prepare other dishes for you or the family so that cooking and
being together around the kitchen is ok.
- Go with the child or young person
to open days and parents' night at school, showing that you take an
active interest in their learning and educational achievements.
Whereas school may have been a negative experience before, do
everything you can to help turn that around and demonstrate how
learning can be fun even though it involves work.
- Get into the practice, early on, of
spending time together with the child or young person, or as a
family, reviewing events of the day and talking about what is coming
up tomorrow and during the rest of the week.
- Identify and explore with the young
person and then actively nurture rhythms of daily life in your own
home around family and individual mealtimes, chores and
responsibilities, TV, homework, recreation activities, leisure
pursuits and spiritual life as appropriate. Think RHYTHMS not RULES!
- Through early involvement with the
child or young person living in your foster home, where might you
locate them on Professor Maier's continuum between "living
radars" to "go-go" kids? How have you adjusted your
own natural approach so as to engage more responsively with the
developmental rhythms of the looked after child or young person in
your home?
- When are the times in your home
when everyone comes together and thereby has an opportunity for
""family talk"? In addition to those times when everyone is
together, driving somewhere to go shopping or participate in an
event, when does ""family talk"" take place in your home and what
topics are discussed?
- How does the looked after child or
young person living in your home meet other family or extended
family members? Family friends? School mates? What about the friends
of your own children or young people who are expected to share their
home with a looked after child or young person?
- Develop family rituals and rhythms
with intent, taking into consideration what fits best for this
child.
LEON FULCHER AND THOM GARFAT
Fulcher, L. and Garfat, T. (2008). Quality care in
a family setting: A practical guide for foster carers. Cape Town.
Pretext. pp. 26-27.
