Listen to thisSo, it is that time of the month again when I am obligated to write another brief editorial. It is, after all, my responsibility. But it is an obligation I enjoy; a responsibility that always pleases me.
Not all obligations and responsibilities are negative although, for some reason, it seems to me that those two words have taken on a slightly negative hue in the last number of years. “It is your responsibility,” she says and it seems to sound like someone has failed in their duty or has to face some unpleasant task. “He is obli- gated to do it,” someone says suggesting that he ‘has to do it’ whether he likes it or not.
The meaning of words, eh? Ever changing, constantly contextualized, shifting.
In many programmes staff want to ‘hold the kids responsible’ for their actions (sometimes even their thoughts) as if the young peo- ple could not act in a manner which showed their respon- sibility without being compelled – as an aside, and by the way – many young people who are doing things we do not like and are driving us crazy are, in fact, acting very responsible – they just do not feel respon- sible to (or for) the things (or people) we want them to be. A young woman may be acting very responsibly towards the values of her peer group by refusing to ac- cept your values. It’s just that you don’t like it so you call it irresponsible. And they are meeting their obligations to their friends. Pretty positive attributes, eh? But like I say, that’s an aside.
But – there always has to be a ‘but’, eh? But I was thinking that you might be think- ing ‘so what’ (Frances Ricks ‘favourite question, by the way) – So what? Who cares? What is the point?
Fair enough. Well, then, here is the point . . . what do we really mean when we ask kids to be responsible or to live up to their obligations? Do we mean they have to do something painful something they will not like? Or do we mean that they need to look at their world, decide what is important to them, and then decide how they will be responsible to this world they live in?
Tough question – not for them. For us. Because if the answer is that they need to decide to what or whom they will be responsible or hold an obligation, then we may be uncomfort- able with their choices.
And, sorry to say, truth be known, don’t throw rocks at me – the reality is that we always want them to be responsi- ble according to our definition of the world, and what is important in it.
But then, isn’t that our obligation – to help kids find their place in their world, not ours?
And, finally before I leave this ‘respon- sibility’ could I suggest that it might be a helpful thing if, in our programmes, we were to decide that responsibilities and obligations were positive things, from which we gain some pleasure. Hmm.
Gosh I enjoyed meeting this responsibility.
Thom
