Listen to thisIdentifying and reinforcing the strengths and beauty in each child and adolescent as well as in ourselves is a theme that has universal application as conveyed in the author’s workshops for parents, educators, healthcare professionals, and business people throughout the United States and abroad.
More than 20 years ago, the metaphor “islands of competence” became an integral part of my workshops and writings, a concept that my colleague Dr. Sam Goldstein and I continue to emphasize in our books about resilience (Brooks & Goldstein, 2001, 2003). This metaphor was conceived while listening to the words of youngsters in my clinical practice, many of whom were struggling with learning problems and had experienced a great deal of frustration and failure in their lives. Some of their comments were riveting, capturing a profound sense of helplessness and hopelessness. A sample of their statements includes:
“I was born with half a brain. Do you know how to fill in the other half?”
“I feel stupid. I feel I will never learn.” “I think I’m not smart enough to ever get a job.”
“I can’t think of anything that I am good at.”
Adults also harbor strong beliefs of inadequacy. One seemingly successful woman reported, “I feel that what I have achieved is like a facade. One of my greatest fears is that one day people will discover that there is nothing behind my facade, and I will be revealed as a fraud.”
A man noted, “I feel my life is like a house of cards and at any moment even the smallest wind can knock it down.” He added, “There is nothing strong inside me to hold it up.” Thinking negative thoughts appears to make them so.
Many of these children and adults seem to be drowning in an ocean of self-perceived inadequacy. Yet, if there is an ocean of inadequacy, then there must be islands of competence — areas that have been or have the potential to be sources of pride and accomplishment. If children and adults learn to identify and reinforce these islands, at some point, they may become more dominant than the ocean of inadequacy. This metaphor is a tool that evokes an image in others of the importance of shifting one’s focus from weaknesses to strengths, from pessimism to optimism.
The metaphor “islands of competence” was not intended simply to be a fanciful image but rather a symbol of hope and respect, a reminder that all individuals have unique strengths and courage. By finding and reinforcing these areas of strength, one can create a powerful ripple effect in which children and adults may be more willing to venture forth and confront situations that have been problematic.
The Impact of Islands of Competence on Therapeutic Approach
This metaphor influenced the questions posed and the strategies initiated in clinical practice. For example, parents, teachers, or other professionals who come to discuss children who are burdened with problems are asked to describe the child’s islands of competence. Next, they are asked to explore how these islands might be strengthened and displayed for others to see, These questions can alter the mindset of adults as they shift their energy from “fixing deficits” to “identifying and reinforcing strengths.”
When youngsters are questioned about what they perceive their strengths to be, some will readily describe their strengths while others respond, “I don’t know.” It is essential to convey to the latter group that all possess strengths, but it may take time for some to determine the nature of their positive qualities.
Furthermore, adults who are encountering problems are asked to consider their strengths. This exercise not only initiates a process of identifying the areas of proficiency, but also prompts the consideration of whether, in daily life, one engages in those activities that are associated with satisfaction and accomplishment.
Applying Islands of Competence in One’s Daily Life
The metaphor “islands of competence” was embraced and applied by others, Parents, whether in clinical practice or at presentations, communicated that they were now actively involved in defining and reinforcing their children’s islands of competence. One remark offered by a parent was, “I feel like an explorer, looking for qualities in my children I had not thought about in the past.” He added with obvious contentment, “It’s a very exciting, gratifying journey.” A teacher commented on how the metaphor had already been implemented: “The first question we raise at our team meetings and IEPs (individual educational plans) is, ‘What are this student’s islands of competence and how are we using these islands to help the student to learn and to feel more dignified?’” Recently, one patient observed, “Whenever I begin to feel anxious and less confident, I remind myself that I do have islands of competence and that I must not lose sight that they exist.” She continued, “When I think about these islands, I don’t ignore my problems, but rather it gives me strength to meet these problems in a more effective way.”
A number of years ago, a mother whose son was struggling with learning problems and depression was impacted by the metaphor. She had attended a presentation and, in hearing the words “islands of competence,” she recognized that she had been punishing her son for school failure by taking away after-school activities that he enjoyed. This is not uncommon. Often, strategies to motivate youngsters unintentionally result in punishing children who are suffering rather than helping them develop a sense of self-worth and dignity.
Wisely, this mother not only ceased her practice of removing after-school activities, but she added activities that were especially enjoyable to him such as skiing. She reports the outcome of her shift in mindset and behavior:
This resulted in a five-year position on National Ski Patrol, which led to an interest in EMT and paramedic training. It further provided other ways for him to feel success. He is now a third-year nursing student and has wonderful self-esteem! School is still very challenging, but the life skills he has learned gave him experience to carry-over into goals and to persevere. This is the experience and information I enjoy sharing with other parents and teachers.
A woman named Patty Reeves sent an e-mail about her experience with islands of competence with her son Patrick. She shares her story:
It was my pleasure to hear you speak here in Florida around 1997, At that time I was just beginning to cope with my son’s learning disability. Not only was he ADHD, he was color blind, left-handed, and spoke as if he had a mouth full of marbles trying to get everything out all at once. I sat in your audience as a participant from the school district I worked for at the time. You had me. You had me at “islands of competence.” I left that seminar and went home with a different attitude, a fresh attitude about what my son could possibly achieve vs. what I was being told the likelihood of success for him would be-incidentally, that at most he would be at a fourth grade level academically.
Patty notes that after the presentation she wondered:
If what you are doing is not having a positive effect, why continue to do it? The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. We must think outside the box. The first thing I changed was my outlook. I began focusing on my son’s abilities rather than his disability. Rather than yielding to his frustrations, I concurred with him and encouraged him to expect to be frustrated but to do the best he could. In time, the ready-to-quit attitude was replaced by a deep, stern nose into the wind.
Patty describes her journey to think outside the box and to obtain the services Patrick required:
I write to you now the mother of a man. He is beautiful, awesome, handsome, and talented. There is a compassionate side to his personality that I don’t believe would be there had he not struggled and succeeded with his own unique learning differences. I write to you this evening thanking you for having a positive impact on my parenting. My son graduated from high school. He is also the recipient of the President’s (Bush) Academic Award for achieving A’s in his senior year. He is going on to college, too!
As Patty shifted the spotlight from Patrick’s disability to his abilities, she created an environment that contributed to the positive changes that have occurred in Patrick’s life since 1997.
The emergence of the field of positive psychology reflects a growing recognition among mental health professionals that individuals must not be narrowly defined by psychiatric labels and pathological traits but instead by their assets, skills, and strengths. Psychiatrist Michael Rutter and psychologist Mark Katz, both of whom have written extensively about resilience, offer some perceptive comments about strengths and the experience of success.
Rutter (1985), describing research about resilient individuals, notes that when success is experienced in one area of life, self-esteem is increased, and the ability to face future challenges is more palpable. Similarly, Katz (1994) writes that when those around us value our accomplishments, we can more easily identify our talents.
The task of identifying and reinforcing islands of competence in children and in ourselves presents many challenges and in some instances is not easily achieved.
However, the search for islands of competence is well worth the effort given the possible rewards that await adults and children alike, namely, a life filled with increased satisfaction, joy, and accomplishment.
References
Brooks, R., & Goldstein, S. (2001). Raising resilient children. New York: McGraw-Hill.
Brooks, R., & Goldstein, S. (2003). The power of resilience: Achieving balance, confidence, and personal strength in your life. New York: McGraw-Hill.
Katz, M. (1994). From challenged childhood to achieving adulthood: Studies of resilience. Chadder, May, 8-11.
Rutter, M. (1985). Resilience in the face of adversity: Protective factors and resistance to psychiatric disorder. British Journal of Psychiatry, 147, 598-611.
From: Reclaiming Children and Youth, Vol 16. No. 1, pp11-13.
