Listen to thisRespect involves treating others with courtesy and helping to preserve their dignity. This is not a concept that quickly comes to mind when faced with so many of the difficult, challenging, and sometimes dangerous behaviors presented by children and youth in our care. In the moment of crisis, we often focus on emotional and physical self-protection for ourselves and the children and youth we serve.
Safety involves preventing danger, risk, or injury. This is essential in any situation and becomes crucial in a crisis. However, we cannot let the critical importance of safety grant license for disrespectful behavior. Respect and safety are interdependent.
Our ability to remain respectful toward each other and toward our kids “even in the face of crisis “speaks to our professionalism. This quality is one of the hundreds of attributes and skills that distinguish us as professionals. It is easy to respond with disrespect “anybody can do it. It takes a professional to always respond in a respectful manner. And not all professionals are able to do this all the time.
We develop this quality through the ability to remain rationally detached during a crisis. Rational detachment is the ability to stay in control of one’s behavior and not take acting-out behavior personally (Crisis Prevention Institute, 2006).
Rational detachment is an active process rather than a magic switch. The skill involves the recognition that we need to engage in respectful behavior toward ourselves, toward our colleagues, and toward our kids.
Part of the process of developing rational detachment is to develop ways to ensure you are able to stay calm and under control in a crisis. This allows us to “think” and respond rather than just react.
It begins with me
In order to give respect, we need to know it and feel it. Action steps
include:
Balance personal and professional activities.
Recognize strengths and limitations.
Engage in ongoing professional and personal development.
Maintain a respectful sense of humor!
Ensure you have had enough sleep and that you are physically and emotionally capable of handling the job.
Congratulate yourself when you do a good job.
Say “thanks” when you receive a complimentand mean it.
Be nice to each other
We can only teach respect by modeling respect. Children and youth in
care focus less on what we say and more on what we do. To show kids that
we respect fellow staff members, action steps include:
Recognize each other’s strengths.
Support each other genuinely and positively.
Compliment publicly, correct privately.
Recognize boundaries.
Respect privacy.
Value diversity.
Maintain a respectful sense of humor!
Do not get involved in office gossip.
The kids are part of the culture
The children and youth we serve are at the center of our respectful
culture.
Only expect of the kids what we can and will do ourselves.
Respect boundaries.
Respect reasonable privacy while maintaining safety for everyone.
Maintain a respectful sense of humor!
Treat children with the same respect we treat adults.
Value differences.
We choose our profession for many reasons. Fame and
fortune are not chief among them. We so often hear that Child and Youth Care professionals make this choice because they care. And because we
care, our work is demanding, exhausting, and rewarding. Our toolbox of
talents and skills allows us to carry out our responsibilities
competently and confidently. Rational detachment is one of the most
important tools we can carry in our caring toolbox.
Reference
Crisis Prevention Institute. (2006). Instructor manual for the Nonviolent Crisis intervention program. Brookfield, WI: Author.
This feature: Dufresne, J.C. and Badzmierowski. (2006). Another tool for your toolbox. Reclaiming Children and Youth, 15, 2. pp. 73-74.
