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CYC-Online
59 DECEMBER 2003
ListenListen to this

moments with youth

Intake

Mark Krueger

This month Rick Flowers shares a recent conversation he had with a youth during an intake meeting. This story shows listening and silence, repeated themes in moments with youth, in a new context.

He was sitting in the lobby waiting to be seen for domestic violence. I had just completed an intake and escorted the previous client out. I return and he is reading a magazine. I ask him his name.

"John."

I motion to him to come to the back. I’m taken back a bit because he looked rather young and this was a program for adults.

We get to my office and I have him take a seat. I’m still unable to get past his youth. Finally, I say, “You look kind of young, how old are you?"

"Seventeen."

I tell him that the program is typically for adults and ask who sent him here. Alternating between looking down at the floor and up at the ceiling and swaying side-to-side he says, “My P.O. sent me here."

"Who is your P.O.?"

Still not making any eye contact, “I don’t know her name, a little sawed-off broad."

Feeling the need to move the process forward, I ask what he did to be sent here. He immediately replies, “Nothing!"

I pause for a moment to consider what 'nothing' might mean to him. Without making any suggestion, I say, “Well, why did you have to come to this program?"

"I don’t know, my P.O. just told me to come here."

Now I’m wondering if he knows exactly what this program is. I ask him why does he have a P.O.

"The judge gave me one after I got into it with my baby’s mamma."

"Got into it?" I ask. “You mean you put hands on her, right?"

"Naw, she was talking crazy and I just pushed her. Then she got all in my face and I mushed her (hand push to the face)."

Finally making eye contact with me he says in an animated fashion, “She think I’m a ho ass buster, you feel me?"

I look at him with minimal expression and say, “No I don't, but I’m listening to you."

His animation quickly changes and his facial expression now has a look of puzzlement. I can see that he is not interested in saying much more. Silence has come between us. I’m enjoying the silence. I break the silence and tell him that he can talk more about his situation during the group sessions.

He looks at me and nods his head in approval, eager to leave the office.

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