Listen to thisWhen I consider writing on what I bring to my practice as a counsellor, I shudder. When I reflect on my strengths, weaknesses and self-awareness, I immediately jump to areas for improvement. It is always easier for me to pick out the flaws in myself, rather than the things I do well. I would like to improve both of these. So in the spirit of this improvement, I will start with some of the things I do well. It reads like my credo:
I care. Simply put, I care about my clients, my friends, my family, my colleagues. I care about success and how people perceive it. I care how my clients feel while in therapy, between therapy, and after therapy. I care what they think of me and how I am perceived. I care about my effect on others” thoughts, feelings and perceptions of this work. I care about my arrogance in group situations. I’d like to care more.
I understand. Simply put, I understand what it means to develop a good relationship. I understand how much work it takes to create meaning and rapport between two people. I understand that I cannot help everybody. I understand I need a balance between personal life and work life to avoid burnout. I understand that the issues coming through my door as a practitioner are not mine. I understand self-awareness is a key to change. I understand I don’t have the profound effect on others that I once thought; but I understand I do have some effect. I understand I still have my own issues to face. I understand I can still learn things which I thought I knew. I understand I need to revisit past thoughts, feelings and issues. I understand I am in a process, that it will unfold in due time and that I cannot rush it. I understand I need to be patient, and I understand not all is what it seems in the beginning. I still strive to understand more–
I feel. Simply put, I feel sadness in loss. I feel joy in my own and others” triumphs. I feel my own pain when someone speaks about theirs. I feel vulnerable when someone criticizes me unjustly. I feel guilt when I am unjust. I feel strength when someone critiques me with fairness and caring. I feel love regularly. I feel things I thought were past. I feel vulnerable, cocky, arrogant, confident, strong and intelligent. I feel amazed. I feel more than I once thought and I’d like to feel more.
I risk.
I share. Simply put, I share who I am as a person through my relationships in work and play. I share insight. I share emotions. I share generosity. I share love. I share more than I wish to, and perhaps more than I need to. I share the important stuff; the stuff inside, the stuff I care most about, and the stuff that scares me half to death. I share my experiences and my thoughts, feelings and concerns. I’d like to learn how to share better, less prescriptively and more facilitatively. I’d like to share more.
I accept. Simply put, I accept what comes through my door and into my life. I accept people for who they are and what they bring. I accept my limitations, biases, experiences and self. I accept that others may not. I accept when it’s easy, and when it’s not easy. I accept that I will continue to change, and that others may not. I accept that others may not accept me. I will aim always to accept, but realize I may not.
I seek. Simply put, I seek self-awareness. I seek acceptance. I seek experience and change. I seek new ideas and understanding of old ones. I seek meaningful relationships and fulfillment within them. I will seek more.
How simple “I am in no way ready to conclude my work is done. I chose to share but a few of my insights on who I am and what I am made of, and I can add to them. I can improve in these and more. If learning is life-long, then so is improvement. And yes, I’d like to risk more.
“You can blame people who knock things over in the dark, or you can begin to light candles.” – Paul Hawken entrepreneur and author, The Sun (April 2002) / The Utne Reader July-August 2002
