Listen to thisYou don’t know what you don’t know. That seems obvious, but we say it sometimes when we have to remind ourselves that others we come into contact with — other professionals, young people, parents, new colleagues — react or behave in ways that don’t serve them or that we don’t understand. It reminds us, too, that we also once didn’t know the things we have learned along the way, and that there are many things we have yet to learn as well. It is a statement of empathy, but also one of hope, when we are tempted to give in to the frustration of watching organizations and individuals tripping over impediments or banging into walls we have already navigated. Rather than judging others for the road they have yet to travel, it takes humility to acknowledge that we were there once too, or if not exactly there, somewhere we had to learn and grow through, and others had to be patient with us. Otherwise we become people who do not know what we do know, and unfairly judge others who do not yet know. And we may then withhold from others the possibility of sharing what we have with those who do not yet hold that particular wisdom, knowledge or understanding.
I’ve found myself wrestling with this a bit lately. I’ve become loosely connected with an organization that provides intense support to adults struggling with substance use disorder. I have observed their program through the lens of Child and Youth Care practice, and have found them coming up short through that lens. I’ve been struck with some of the parallels between residential CYC Work and residential addiction recovery. In both cases, people in care are vulnerable and nearly always have experienced trauma and developmental barriers; they need structure and support for safety, and they need to be surrounded by caring stable people who can gently interpret behaviour and reactions and respond with grace, support, and patience. In both cases, people in care are thrust together with others in the same situation and expected to live in community with them, adjusting to others’ needs and issues while simultaneously trying to deal with their own.
The programming in this treatment centre for people with substance use disorder is extremely structured and built around behaviour and consequences. Staff appear overworked, underpaid, and undertrained, leading to a high turnover rate and staffing stresses. There is often a somewhat combative atmosphere that leads to the “students” remaining stuck in historical patterns of self-defence, isolation, manipulation and trauma responses that leads to them being blamed for behaving like the hurt, wounded, traumatized people they are, and the cycle keeps them stuck. Despite this, they do see many positive results and over time the students are able to access freedom in areas of addiction recovery, but I have frequently thought they would be well served to hire people who are educated as Child and Youth Care Workers, that an approach based on the 25 characteristics of Child and Youth Care as articulated by Thom Garfat and others over the past 20 years (find the most recent iteration here) would serve to smooth out many of the rough edges and help them work toward a safer, more stable, therapeutic environment within which students can confront their addiction and work through the complexity of trauma, decisions, and history that lead to them into recovery in the first place. I also have to recognize that my biases toward the CYC approach do not make me an expert on addiction recovery, but I believe CYC practice has accumulated wisdom, practical sensibility, and knowledge that is beneficial to all helping professions including this one.
Stephen M. R. Covey, in his recent work on leadership styles Trust & Inspire: How truly great leaders unleash greatness in others, articulates an alternative to the Command and Control method which was historically the “go-to” model of leadership (at least since the Industrial Revolution). When I first became a CYC worker 25 years ago, our field was in the middle of moving away from this method of motivating through a top-down hierarchy that utilized rewards and punishments, points and levels, carrots and sticks. We were seeing that these practices do not work, and can be in the long run detrimental to the health and longevity of individuals and organizations. When I first read the title of Covey’s book, I was brought back to the leadership and “on the job training” I received as a brand new Child and Youth Care Worker. It was counter intuitive to me because I had come up through a school system that was very top-down and expected that my work life would reflect that. But happily, I found myself inside an organization that was embracing and putting into practice these principles that may not have used Covey’s exact wording, but reflected the principles he sets out – that to have healthy and successful people, organizations, lives, it is vital to inspire and empower others, and trust that they have talents and potential within to become something leaders under the Command & Control paradigm couldn’t build or even imagine.
We in Relational Child and Youth Care Practice have a leg up on these old systems, because we understand the value of doing with, of hanging out and hanging in, of meeting others where they are at, of rhythmicity, intentionality, reflection, meaning making, of (some would say most importantly) love, and all the other beautiful characteristics of a relational CYC approach. I’m often most keenly aware of its power when I’m confronted by its absence in structures and organizations that, like the addiction rehabilitation program I mentioned earlier, have yet to embrace this kind of stewardship of the people and resources for which we are responsible, whether that’s as a front line residential CYC practitioner, a more seasoned supervisor, or a member of the management/leadership team. Let’s try to keep at top of mind how valuable and powerful it is to work and lead and live by these characteristics, and to have patience and humility with others as they seek to discover what they do not know … yet.
