Listen to thisAbout twenty years ago, I conducted research for my PhD involving 134 young care leavers from three types of child and youth care institutions: NGO-run homes catering to the most disadvantaged at-risk group, sex workers children, government-run homes supporting orphans, and faith-based community-run children’s homes supporting all groups of children.
During my studies, I was directly involved with NGO-run children’s homes and had access to government-run and faith-based community-run institutions. For my research, I analyzed the life stories of 33 care leavers.
After completing my PhD, I met with all of them to express my ‘gratitude’ for sharing their life experiences. Their stories helped me understand the system, policies and practices and influenced significant changes in the country's residential child and youth care policies. However, as my work increased, I struggled to maintain contact with all of them and lost touch with some.
Upon returning from the spiritual retreat, I received a Facebook request from a young man with a very familiar name. Before accepting his request, I decided to do some research. I discovered he was one of the ‘brightest boys’ in the children's home, where I used to be the director of programmes. Through him, it felt like I ‘rediscovered the valuable connections’ with all the young people I knew personally from that children's home.
Rouf, a young adult, currently works as a senior accountant in the parent organisation of the children's home where he grew up. He has specific responsibilities within the organisation's education and child development programme, which includes overseeing the children's home project budgets. The organisation supported Rouf's education, healthcare, and general upkeep. After completing his MA, he was offered a job. As the programme director, I knew Rouf as a ‘talented but quiet’ young man who faced serious health challenges.
Our children's home was for rescued boys and girls from brothels, but Rouf came from a different district where we had several projects. One of these was called "Elimination of Worst Forms of Child Labour," aiming to provide education and healthcare support to children who worked in the cigarette industry. We gradually withdrew them from work by consulting with their parents and the cigarette factory owners and implementing alternative income-generating sources.
During a visit to the project, my CEO learned that Rouf, a talented student, works in a cigarette factory due to his family's financial struggles. He also has a health problem that his family can't afford to treat. Our colleagues asked our CEO if our organisation could help with his treatment, as we have a health program and a hospital. My CEO didn't respond immediately. After returning, he shared the story with me and asked me to admit Rouf to the children's home. Initially, I was hesitant because the children we catered to came from a specific segment of society with a specific cultural background, values, and needs. After a long discussion, my CEO insisted that we bend the rules, and I agreed.
Though I agreed with my CEO, I understand the problem wasn't completely solved. The children's home is just one of the 23 projects I was involved in. The children's home has different layers of management committees, which include the 23 project directors, mainly to minimise risk and ensure the safety and protection of these children. I had to convince the committee members, the principal of the children's home, and our donor, who partially supported the children’s home projects. After numerous discussions, everyone finally agreed, and we could admit Rouf to the children’s home.
Since the day Rouf was admitted, he experienced a problem. Both of his knees were severely swollen with bad bruising marks, causing him great pain. After a diagnosis, it was revealed that he had a rare form of ‘haemophilia’, which required monthly injections of a blood factor for the next few years. If lucky, this condition might be cured when he reaches adulthood. However, the treatment was not available in the city where the children's home was located but in the country's capital city, which was 150 miles away. Additionally, the treatment was very expensive. Additional funds had to be allocated for his treatment and different types of food and bedding, which disrupted the children's home daily operation. The staff requires constant attention and support to keep him functional. As a result, the children in the home began to feel that Rouf was receiving more privileges than them in terms of care and support.
The issue with the children gradually began to fade as Rouf was able to gain their trust through his love and affection. After his first final exam, we were all amazed to learn that he was the top student in his class. Over time, he became one of the most influential boys in the children's home due to his behaviour, knowledge, manners, and talents.
Rouf and I organised a Facebook call and spoke for around three hours, reminiscing about our experiences and time together. He shared most of his stories and talked about the young people I used to know during my time with them. First and foremost, he happily said he doesn't have his health problems anymore, and for that, he ‘thanked me and the CEO’ for going the extra mile for him and allowing him to be admitted to the children's home, which helped him survive and flourish. A big part of the conversation centred around his health and education, his support from the organisation, and the love and care from the staff and his fellow residents. He tearfully mentioned his principal and other teachers and how they had looked after him. He said ‘I was lucky to have received this special care, love, and treatment for which I am here. If I had to work in the cigarette factory by this time, I may have died’. I asked why he was so humble and grateful to the organisation and those who looked after him. He replied, "I could not repay the debt you owe. I sincerely tried my best to use the resources you spent for me, and always remember that I would not do anything to disappoint you. So, my focus was on education and the activities I could do. If I am not grateful to you and Baro Sir (CEO), Allah will be very unhappy with the blessings I received." Rouf said gratitude is the main mantra of thriving. We also discussed the challenges the young people faced in care and after leaving care and probable solutions.
He shared the brief stories of almost 190 children in the children's home whom I knew personally. It was great to hear that many of them are doing well in their professional and family lives in different parts of the country, and some have even moved abroad for work. However, alongside the positive stories, there are some very upsetting ones. Some of the boys and girls we supported, who showed a lot of promise in their education and extracurricular activities like singing, dancing, and martial arts, didn't end up fulfilling their potential. Some of the brightest ones dropped out and couldn't progress due to getting involved with the wrong crowd—brothels and drug mafia. Two girls even tragically took their own lives after being betrayed by their partners after leaving the children's home.
During our conversation, Rouf repeatedly shared uplifting stories with me, including anecdotes about the staff and peers he grew up with. He mentioned that they talk about their children's home lives when they gather and compare it to young people who don't have the same opportunities. Sometimes, they focus on how the staff were able to help them think bigger.
Rouf asked me to host a gathering with the young adults I know from the children's home, and I agreed. Hopefully, it will be very soon, Insha’ Allah.
The results of my PhD study indicated that young people greatly benefited from being in care and that the institution had a mostly positive impact on their lives. The findings also revealed a link between the experience of being in care and a young person's success in the outside world. The type of institution, its culture, systems and practices, the level of care provided, and socio-cultural-religious influences all contributed to this connection.
It's important to address the prevalent negativity surrounding residential child and youth care practices worldwide, particularly the way certain Western NGOs depict these institutions. They often emphasise the failures and problems, attributing them to weakened family ties and poor educational and health outcomes for children. The portrayal of child and youth institutions as hubs of abuse and neglect is widespread, but it's important to note that this is not the case for many such facilities around the world. In reality, most of these institutions are crucial in providing care and support to children in need, helping them thrive.
Rouf's gratitude for the support and guidance he and his fellow residents received and for being allowed to flourish convinced me that this children's home/institution is a place where we can see that residential childcare has the potential to provide a positive option for many underprivileged children and young people. It helps a special group of children become the responsible citizens they deserve to be in the world.
Rouf's stories have re-inspired me, and I find them refreshing and rewarding. I have decided to write about the young people I know personally, as well as those involved in my PhD process. I want to share their life’s triumphs and challenges while growing up in the care home where they were raised, and after leaving care.
Stay tuned!!
