Listen to thisCarina Lewis
Over the Christmas holidays Mary went to stay with her aunt and cousins in the town in the Northern Cape where she spent the first years of her life. Before she went at the beginning of December (our summer holidays) I found myself in a difficult dilemma when it came to giving her a Christmas present. There are so many things she doesn't have that other teenagers of seventeen take for granted, like a cell phone, a camera, a CD player and so on. They're all expensive items of course. A cell phone seemed a good idea, but she would have to pay for airtime and couldn't afford it. A CD player would be fun too, but she wouldn't be able to buy any CDs. Finally I was left with the option of a camera. Although that also seemed too expensive I kept thinking about it.
One of the reasons a camera appealed to me is that photos are pictorial reminders of our past and are treasured by us all. Most families have a library of family photos in albums. Most of us have pored over photos of long-dead relatives looking for family likenesses in weird-looking great-grandparents, or wondering what life was like 100 years ago. Then there are the myriad baby pictures parents usually take of their offspring; whole books full of baby smiling, dribbling, eating, walking, talking etc. Admittedly there have been a lot of changes in the last twenty five years. Our children's lives now tend to be recorded on video tapes and many of our photos are stashed away on CDs, but a lot of us still have photos on our desks on our walls or in our wallets.
When I first met Mary I remember asking her if she had any pictures of her parents or brothers and sisters, but she had none. I can't imagine what it must be like to have no photos of any of your family or friends from the past. Imagine being orphaned at age eight, like Mary, and having no memory of what your parents looked like, or what you looked like when you were little, or being separated from siblings in foster care and having no pictures to remember them by. There would be no record of you growing up. No photos of your first day at school, your first visit to the sea, your best friends, your school trips, your teenage clothes and 'cool' hairstyles. It would be almost as if you hadn't existed in the past and would certainly seem that nobody had cared enough to want any photos of you. Your only recorded personal history would probably be in some files in a social worker's office.
So, you can see why I was so keen to get Mary a camera for Christmas. I was also hoping it would give her a creative outlet if she had the inclination. I know she's not enthusiastic about painting or drawing, but perhaps photography will take her fancy. Photography is a great way for young people to learn observation and encourages them to stop and look more closely at their surroundings.
Finally, after discussing it with the Case Manager at Big Brothers Big Sisters I decided to go out looking for a reasonably priced second-hand camera and was lucky enough to find a cheap one ideal for teenagers – easy to use and not easily broken. I gave it to Mary before she went on her holidays to her aunt and she was utterly thrilled. I sent her off with promises that she would take pictures of her family and friends to show me on her return.
Now she's back and I have over 200 of her photos downloaded on to my computer! Each time she visits my house she spends a while editing some pictures and printing a few of them. Some of them she keeps in an album, which one of her teachers thoughtfully gave her when she found out Mary was getting a camera for Christmas. Others she sticks on the wall above her bed, which gives her a more personal space in the bedroom she shares with two other girls.
Gradually we're working through all the photos and she explains to me who the people are. There are some of her sister, aunt and cousins, and one of her brother, who she hadn't seen for five years giving her a hug (he's been in prison). There are many of Mary taken by her friends. Mary wearing sunglasses, in silly poses, laughing with her arm round a friend, cuddling neighbours' babies and dressed up to the nines for parties. There are a few pictures of boys and she gets bashful when I ask who they are. They all show the people that are important to her up in the Northern Cape, which she visits only once a year. Now she is back in Cape Town and is beginning to compile a collection of photos of her house-parents, the other girls in the children's home, her friends at school ...and me!
Not only is she learning some new computer skills, but she is beginning to build herself a personal pictorial history and the pleasure she is getting from it is very clear to see. It makes me happy to think that she'll have some photos of herself and of people who are important in her life to pass on to her own children one day.
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Big Brothers Big Sisters is a youth mentoring non-profit organization. It was founded in the USA in 1904 and became international in 1998. The program matches youth in need with adult volunteers in one to one relationships which have a direct and lasting positive impact on the lives of the young people. For further information go to www.bbbsi.org
