Listen to this“The first two meetings were exciting – new sights, interesting people to meet, initiating a bank account and figuring out the exchange rates, learning to drive on the other side of the road – indeed, there were a thousand new activities”, she described in an animated voice. I listened patiently to this fellow American in this far-off place, New Zealand, in which we each chose to live.
“Then," she sighed, “some frustrations began. Things were not quite right. At least, things did not seem quite right.” She continued on, “the people are so stiff and formal. They do not laugh at the same things, in fact, they don’t laugh at all.” Her husband chimed in with a description of his experiences at work, and in the shops, and along the streets. These encounters were not always pleasant and carefree, “I get strange reactions, or, sullen responses, rather than friendly reactions”, he moaned. His problems of getting along with people in this country became increasingly frequent. He too, was angry, frustrated, and anxious.
After four months, this couple were struggling to stay. Nothing seemed to work in the way they expected. Whether they considered their jobs, their daily life events such as shopping, or even just trying to talk intelligently with neighbours, nothing was right. In fact, they stated, “the place is positively un-American.”
When I met them again, six months later, the couple were sad and disillusioned. They wanted to return to familiar home ground, but were unable to break their work contract without enormous financial expenses. They needed and asked for help. I listened carefully to their story, for their frustrations, anger, sadness, and sense of betrayal were familiar, not only for me personally, but for literally dozens of other people whom I have met and worked with over the years in cross-cultural situations.
What happens
Entry into another culture typically takes place with expectations of
differences and excitement at the move, the new situation, and a bit of
grief at departing from the old and familiar. In actuality, people are
rarely sufficiently prepared for the next phases of adjustment. These
later steps often require a great deal of cognitive, emotional, and
social coping skills.
In a cultural move involving great differences, one expects culture shock, an adjustment period, and security in the knowledge that one will never be totally immersed. But, it is only rarely that ventures into cultures which are radically different last for years. On the other hand, in a culture where lifestyles are close to what is left behind, the differences are subtle, and may be ill-defined. People are lulled into thinking, believing, or feeling that things are the same, or similar. Nevertheless, lifestyles, daily events, behaviour, and indeed, the culture, do not match expectations. People then use their familiar patterns of behaviour, their learned words and language, their stock routines and coping skills, to little or no, or even negative, avail.
The situation of adapting to a new culture is like listening to a radio station that is just a little off key – the information is there, but it is distorted and harmony is lost. Most difficult, many people move into situations where cultures are only slightly different and remain for many years. They may fail to recognize the differences, become depressed, and blame themselves.
What can happen
As a culture broker, with backgrounds in anthropology, psychology and
most relevant of all, rehabilitation, I have learned to listen a great
deal before eventually, asking and interpreting. With the couple
mentioned, for example, I eventually asked them to compare their new
situation to that an anthropologist goes through in a totally unfamiliar
far-off country. Sure enough, the couple began to discover that the
concept of culture did fit. Having an explanation as to why their
difficulties emerged enabled them to put their experiences into a
context, to understand, and therefore, to begin to learn and predict
what could be changed. In fact, the idea of different cultures gave them
a road-map as to how to manage.
For people I work with, I find it is only when, and if, they can drop their familiar old routines, and explore to discover the subtle differences. Then they can understand their own past, and the new culture. But, they do have to become “aware” of their past, as well as realize they are in a new culture, otherwise they never “adjust”.
This is similar to the situation of sudden onset of a disability – which requires adapting to changed conditions. Rehabilitation is about coping, and consequently the ideas and practices evolved in this field are pertinent. The parallel of gaining a disability with haying the environment/culture change, whether subtle or obvious, requires adaptations of many sorts.
Another example is an English fellow who had been in New Zealand for several years. He was uncomfortable, unhappy, and depressed. Neither he nor anyone else could figure out precisely why. When we talked, it was evident he had never thought of New Zealand as being a different culture. Coming from middle class England, he felt New Zealand, heavily populated by British subjects years back, was virtually the same. He said, “I’m not behaving any different in New Zealand.” I suspect he was right, which was precisely his problem. His environment was markedly divergent from where he had come. His behaviour had to change to match the new context. To change behaviour, he had to think differently. Fortunately, I was able to offer him some ideas.
In fact, I sent him to find, learn and discover how New Zealand styles of living, working and relating were different from those in his original environment of England. He realized a sense of adventure. This was for him, a new, and essential activity to uncover why he was not fitting in well.
Dilemmas
I recall one of my own dilemmas, tea breaks (or smoko, depending upon
social class) at 10 and 3 mean that almost every New Zealander takes a
half hour break from work to socialize and relax. I could join and be a
part of New Zealand culture or I could avoid these rituals, and never
have an opportunity to be accepted, to learn alternative behaviour
patterns. What to do? It is a choice, like many others. Immigrants
sometimes carry their own culture along and find or generate supportive
groups, thereby maintaining their behaviour over the generations.
Immigrants can also join in with their new culture, try out the new way
of life, and gain an insight into their own past, the present culture,
and the ability to choose those parts of each that are positive and
good. Some aspects of New Zealand culture include activities such as
attending dog trials or sheep handling and shearing exhibitions, or
using the slang and jargon and accents. Some immigrants choose to join,
others resist. Some fail to become aware that they are in a new culture.
It is these people who have the greatest problem. They lack a framework
to understand why things are the way they are!
This feature: Gregory, R. J. (1993). The culture broker role: Ideas from rehabilitation models. Adult education and development. Vol. 40. pp 71-75
