Listen to thisThere were five adolescent girls in the flat. The idea was that proximity to the new Director and his family living in the same area would manage their out-of-control behaviour. But at first it made little to no difference at all.
There were four of them that constantly sneaked out at night “jailbreak style “most nights, letting knotted sheets down to ground level and heading into the city, and a lot of hysterical acting out. These four girls absorbed a lot of the time of the Director and ate into family time. Lots of coffee, many late night discussions in a risky inter-relationship between the girls and the Director’s family. After all, they all shared much of the same living space. Slowly life settled as relationships grew but the amount of energy focussed on the four adolescent girls remained an urgent response to constant crises.
Mavis was the one who resisted group pressure. She presented as compliant, co-operative and polite. She didn’t demand staff or Director’s attention as she was not part of the others” constant stream of critical incidents. Mavis was a wallpaper kid.
One day she came to the Director’s home and started to scream and shout, she had realised that to be noticed, heard. To have your needs met, you have to be either anti-social or a-social. Pro-social behaviour was not personally in your best interests in a place that was constantly responding to everyone else’s crises. You get lost in the wallpaper of the children's home if you conform around here. She screamed that from now on she would not be overlooked “if you had to be a-social to capture someone’s eye and be heard, then that is what she would be.
Overnight Mavis displayed an array of see-level black leather mini-skirts, black lipstick and her bottom falling out of her shorts. No more part of the pattern on the home’s wallpaper, Mavis became an f-word using, squawking force that couldn’t be missed. Beneath this charade was the real Mavis, indecisive, unsure, vacillating; not good with real relationship building, and afraid of heading into an uncertain future. The overstated parody of teenage rebellion she crafted for the outside was in sharp contrast to the crying inside of Mavis.
Mavis is one of many; quietly nursing hurt “browns and greys lost in the routines of everyday life of the facility, masked especially by the flashing neon signs of the others. These kids drift into the background and are regarded as all-right “coping “sweet kids, no trouble at all. The reliable ones who do what they are told, the golden group. In a points-and-levels system they win points but lose out on interaction. But, whilst the staff are busy putting out fires, these kids are burning up inside.
Wallpaper kids fit the pattern of our agencies but if we don’t recognise their needs in our programmes they come unstuck and peel off the wall in strips. Wallpaper kids deserve to be seen and heard. Wallpaper kids also need our attention and focus.
Child and Youth Care September 2000
