Listen to thisOne of the colourful ancestors of our profession was Father George Potter, an Anglican Franciscan friar. In the 1920s, he was made vicar of a derelict church in the “slum" parish of Peckham in London. There was nowhere for him to stay, so he set up his vicarage in what had been The Eagle, an old corner pub. He put a sign on the front: “This establishment is under entirely new management!” He and his small community of brothers were soon engaged upon what they called “an experiment in religion”, and were caring for homeless and troubled kids. This is a brief extract from his writings.
It is extraordinary how these boys get the impulse to do the wrong things they do. Most came to us for petty larceny, others, usually the more intelligent type, have been caught at really clever practices. We have had boys of fourteen who have forged cheques, or mended and stolen motor-cars. Others, again, have shown considerable skill at housebreaking. Many of these crimes have needed brains and courage. Some of the boys were so quick-witted! I remember one boy of ten years sent to us from another “home" as a thief and unmanageable. One item used as evidence against him was a carrot stolen from a shop. We talked about it, and he said, “But I proved I hadn't pinched it!" I asked him how he had proved it, as it was found half eaten under his bed and he answered, “I showed 'em that the marks in the carrot didn't fit my teeth." I doubt whether I should have thought of that at ten years of age. I still live and learn. In looking up an old Quarterly of our community I see that I once asked a boy to write an article telling us of his impressions on arrival. Here are some extracts as he wrote it.
It was in the year 1932, I was standing in front of a judge in the Juvenile Court. He said to me, “You will go to Fr. Potter's Hostel for two years." I said to my pal, “Gee, ain't it awful." He said, “Not 'arf." A little while after, Fr. George Potter came for me. He looked so big and strong, but he had a kind face, so I wasn't really frightened. On the way home on a 'bus, he said to me, “What you want is a jolly good hiding." I looked at him and shuddered. The next day I was taken to Brother John. In him I saw a kind, but firm man. For a week I tried all sorts of pranks. I was a devil. But they were so kind, I suppose I saw sense. But don't think there ain't no discipline. Brother John can keep you in and make you work and I am told Fr. George can lay it on pretty thick at times. I hated church when I first came, but I like it now. Our chapel is very homely. I would say that the Brothers have a very trying time. They work all day long getting our food ready and washing our clothes. What I like too, is that they ask you to do things and don't shout at you.
Some time ago at a meeting of Leaders of Hostels and Clubs, I was asked to speak about “Work with Boys". At the conclusion, I read some items that I had drawn up for the Brothers here. They may be of use to some such folks some day.
We should aim at a natural love that is felt mutually.
Boys notice more than we imagine. One failure on our part may leave a blemish on a boy's soul, such as can never be erased.
Don't talk about being “good with boys". Just pray that you may be worthy of helping to save the souls of a few younger brothers. If you are any good, to God be the praise.
Don't spoil a boy, or make favourites. It only makes life harder for him, for others, and for yourself. It gives him a chance to “blackmail” you mildly, and makes other boys regard him as a sucker. It can lead you to give him more rope than is good for him.
It helps us to try to see in every boy the Lad who was a Carpenter in Nazareth.
Don't imitate other people. Acknowledge that no two of us are alike. It is quite a different thing to adapt your own personality to another's methods.
Don't lose your temper or shout. If you do, you must not be upset if the boy laughs at you. Remember, he probably has a sense of humour, and we do look funny when we lose our temper.
Don't expect all boys to react to your methods in the same way. What would be cheek from one boy is merely high spirits in another; and what is disobedience with one can be sheer stubbornness with another.
It helps us to remember that we do not necessarily appear to a boy in the same way as we are reflected in our own mirror.
Few boys have self-control. It is up to us to show how much better and happier we are for having it.
If we would adjust these youngsters to a sane society, we must provide a sane home-life.
Remember many of us were “good" in boyhood only because either we knew what real home love was like or, perhaps, we feared being caught and punished.
Boys often steal or “borrow" because they are starved either in stomach or desire.
Don't worry too much about what the boy was before he came to you. Worry more about what he may become.
A boy does not necessarily show respect by standing in your presence, nor by saluting and saying “Sir!" Perhaps he has been brought up in an institution, where he has got so used to doubling up and saying “Yes, sir!" when he wants to say “No. Damn you!"
When you have failed, don't shirk telling even the smallest boy that you have failed. It will help him to realise that it isn't easy always to be right. He may admire your humility; or, at least, he will see that you are not a hypocrite.
We must never let a boy mistake our meekness for weakness. We must never be soft with them. They are so much like puppies “and need discipline.
We must expect our love to be hurt, but not wasted. We give love, but we should always expect to see some response. We must expect, and get, willing obedience.
If we talk a lot about Jesus Christ, the boy rightly thinks that we know something about him “and expects us to be something like him.
A child is such precious material. Many poor and neglected kids have grown up and left their mark on the world “even changed the face of history. There was an Abraham Lincoln “and there was an Adolf Hitler. Ours is a great responsibility.
