Listen to thisSara has been in our program for almost a year now. Mark has been her primary worker for all that time. It’s been our experience that when a young person has the same primary worker for all that time, assuming things go well, they develop a pretty close relationship. That’s the way it is with Sara and Mark.
He’s going off on vacation for three weeks in September, and he is “worried” about how she is going to do with his absence. He thinks it would be a wise idea for him to come in to the program two or three times a week, just for an hour or so, to meet with her and help her stay “on track” while he is away. He’s worried that she will slip back and lose some of the progress she has made. He’s done this before with other youth, and so have some of the other staff.
Mark and I have worked together in this program for a few years now and this is an area we have always disagreed on. I think that when you are off, you are off. I think that he shouldn’t come in to meet with her. Here are some of our arguments. I am trying to present them as fairly as possible:
Mark’s points:
Sara doesn’t handle separations well, so why put her through another one if it is not necessary.
Coming in will be a strong message of caring for her.
If we can prevent her from falling back, why shouldn’t we?
Separations create breaks in the process of growth and treatment.
Three weeks is too long for Sara to manage.
No-one else has quite the relationship with her that he has.
Coming in will make it easier for the rest of us.
My points:
A young persons relationship should be will all the team, not just the primary.
Coming in while he is off creates false expectations of the real world.
Time off helps to establish or confirm boundaries.
If problems arise it is an opportunity to help her.
Coming in may be more about Mark’s needs, than hers.
If we can’t help her when he is away, then we, as a team, have a problem.
Staff absences are a chance to help young people learn about separation.
Now, of course, some of the team agree with Mark, and some agree with me. And our supervisor, unfortunately, sees both sides of it and isn’t sure what to do. He says that the issue here is that we have not developed our philosophy about treatment.
I was talking with my friend Marie the other day and she says there are a few other issues as far as she can see; like, what are the young person's needs, what is the focus of the treatment plan and who is processing why certain decisions get made.
It’s a tough one because it seems like everyone might be right. I mean, I can see what Mark means about giving Sara a message of caring, and surely everyone benefits from feeling cared for. Especially young people like Sara who have been deserted so often. And you know what, given how we have let things develop, he’s probably right that it would make things easier for the rest of us – but then if I don’t want to come in while I am off, will my “primary youth” think it means I don’t care as much as Mark?
So, I am writing to you, at CYC-Net to ask you what you think. We could use some help here, and we still have a few weeks to go. Could you tell us what you think on the discussion list? Because then we – the whole team – can read people answers and I won’t get accused of just picking the one’s I like.
