Listen to thisRecently a colleague and friend, Larry Branswell (presently at The Child and Youth Mental Health Clinic in Cranbrook, British Columbia) shared with me some observations that he had received a few years ago from a consultant during a two-day onsite agency visit. I thought Larry’s accounts were rich for learning and could be beneficial for all of us in the field. And so I pass them on.
[One day] the consultant and I were talking in the kitchen. I had redirected a boy who was somewhat defiant, and eventually sent him off to his room for a time out when he became increasingly rude. A few minutes later I approached the consultant for his esteemed assessment of my handling of the situation. (I fully expected his praise for my effective use of behavior modification techniques!). His response was gentle and measured and I have never forgotten it. He said, “Well, Larry, I don’t think every interaction in a group care setting needs to be a cash exchange.” Meaning (to me) that, while I did hold a degree of power as the adult, I could choose to give the poor kid a break – rather than beat-him to death under the guise of behavioral consistency. ('Twas a great moment in my career development).
Another memory was of walking with him from the staff room down the hall to the office – for the final feedback session. He turned to me as we entered and asked, “Did you notice what I just did?” Of course I didn’t have the right answer. He pointed out that he hadn’t engaged me in small talk, like the weather or yesterday’s ball game or such chit-chat as we approached the office. It was stage setting stuff, setting the mood for the event that was to come, a professional dialogue. Since then I think of that daily as I greet my clients in the waiting room and walk quietly with them to my office.
The final memory that seems to have stuck was of his teaching that adults need to make themselves attractive to youth, attractive in that they become magnets of sorts to kids, by having neat things in their hands or pockets that draw kids' attention, or by knowing the songs that are the current rage. This characteristic, he taught, facilitates the influence which adults may have on the youth they encounter, by paving the way toward therapeutic engagement. I’ve passed that message along quite freely to colleagues.
I hope the readers of this journal will from time to time have interesting gadgets in their hands or pockets.
Good cheers.
