Listen to thisThis is a true account of an experience I had a few years ago. The name(s) have been changed to protect the guilty.
Christy was a twelve year old girl who had been in care a few times because her mother was a serious alcoholic and often neglected her. Christy had a younger brother, six years old, whom she felt very responsible for, since her mother wasn’t a good enough parent. Christy had been taken into care because she was engaging in prostitution and was felt to be a danger to herself because of this.
Christy looked about ten years old, and weighed 70 pounds at best. She matter-of-factly described that this young look is a real asset in the sex trade, since many “johns” want childlike partners. The reason she was doing this was to make money for herself and her brother, since all the usual social assistance money went for mom’s addiction. The first impression most workers got was of a street-wise, sadly cynical young girl, who was headed for a difficult life.
Some of the Child and Youth care workers really liked her and got to know a very funny and soft-hearted girl who had been deprived of her childhood, and who had great potential. The agreement between Christy and her social worker was that if she did well until the end of the school term, she could return home, which was very important to her because she needed to be there for her little brother. Like many parentified children, she was more responsible and adult-like than her mother.
A case conference was held in April and the social worker, who worked with mom, notified the Child and Youth Care staff that she was recommending long-term foster care for Christy because the mom was resisting her efforts to meet and discuss things. The care staff team was very conflicted; some thought that this was an inevitable decision anyway, while others felt it was a bad decision, since Christy had fulfilled her end of the agreement.
Unfortunately, the social worker also decided to wait until the conference to announce this to Christy, since everyone expected her to become quite explosive and there would be enough adults in the room to contain her (especially the Child and Youth Care staff).
The case conference consisted of seven professionals and Christy; her mother didn’t show up. Christy was attentive and polite through all the reports about how well she had done for the past few months. Finally the social worker announced her plan/decision to put Christy in foster care rather than return home and everyone held their breath. Christy didn’t visibly react. The social worker asked her if there was anything she wanted to say and Christy replied that she did. Christy turned toward the secretary who was taking the minutes and said, “I want you to write this down: If I don’t go home in June, I will kill myself.” The secretary nervously looked at the social worker who shook her head (don’t write it down). Christy said to the secretary, “Can you spell suicide?”. The meeting was hastily adjourned for a week.
I saw Christy in early June and asked her how things were for her. She replied, smiling broadly, that she was going home in a week.
The social worker started connecting with Christy’s mother because suddenly, Christy’s life depended on it. The Child and Youth Care workers also started working with this plan for the same reason.
This young girl found a way to make her life as important to the people who were in charge as it was to her.
