Listen to thisA big fuss this past month over the UK Labour government’s decision to throw the responsibility for young people’s behaviour back at the parents. One mother was actually jailed for a week or two because she was allowing her two daughters to truant from school. General outrage with cries of “Fascism". On appeal the lady in question was released from prison – but her kids went back to school.
Have some sympathy for the mother. It’s hard to get kids to do what we want them to do when we don’t really have all that much power over them. With loud sanctions against punishment and (God forbid!) smacking, all we have left as parents is our influence. And most of us don’t feel that we have much of that against the clamour of the modern world.
Rather more sympathy, actually, with Mr Blair and the Labour government. I mean, with kids where they are today and the frankly disturbing youth crime situation, if I was to look for a system which might be of some influence with youth across the country I might look at a new army of several million social workers, youth workers and psycho-whatevers, but that would be laughable, the stuff of high comedy. The very best network of available manpower, universally in place to be of help is – the parents!
I mean, isn’t that what they’re supposed to be doing? If your kid is going out tonight to wreck the peace of the neighbourhood or break the arm of some resistant mugging victim or trash the corner store – do you sit idly by? Do you say “Have a nice evening, dear!" “Don’t get home (with your loot and bloodstained clothes) too late." Or do you have the balls, as an adult representative of society (of whatever gender), to lay down strong black lines of guidance and expectation?
Don’t get me wrong. If there is a kid out there whose parent(s) are incapable, seriously ill or totally absent, and from whom there has been no opportunity to learn minimal values and standards and morals, then I have sympathy. In such a case I would expect the state (and its army of social workers, etc.) to provide alternative care and teaching to bring the young person up to speed. But any parents who may be regarded as being within the 95% “bell jar" probability curve of normalcy, give or take a standard deviation or two, are accountable to their neighbours and their suburb and their society for the behaviour of their children.
If you renege on this responsibility, and prefer to go off to the “local", do a movie or a line of coke, and fail to provide authoritative grown-up leadership and basic discipline, then pack your toothbrush and some reading material and prepare for a stretch in your local prison. You deserve no less. You have let down your kids and you have let down the society you belong to.
