Help from frogs

Jessica Sauve-Griffin

An idea came to me as I was having my third counselling session with a nine-year-old girl. She was having a difficult time verbally communicating with me, but excelled at using creative arts supplies. Whenever I would inquire about her art work, her face would go sullen, and her body language withdrawn. Initially, I thought that once she became more comfortable, talking would be a bit easier for her. As I watched her anguished face I remembered the most important premise that guides my work with children and youth – children will talk when THEY want to – it is their process not mine, thus, I knew it was time to get creative while giving permission NOT to talk.

So evolved this program idea I am sharing with you! My children's counseling room is filled with a variety of toys, knick knacks, art supplies, etc, because I never know which item will come in handy. During this session, I decided it was time to bring out the tiddly-wink frogs. I must say, as I chose them, I had no idea what I was going to use them for, other than they seemed “right”! So my imagination began to work, and the young girl was fascinated watching me with these plastic frogs “himming and hawing” about how I would use them. (Remember, even though we are the counselors, we don’t always have all the answers – and that’s ok – the children are our guides!)

Then I had it – the challenge was her feeling able to share, and while I wanted to give her permission not to, I still wanted to be patient enough if she was contemplating sharing. So first I introduced her to the red frogs. These were the “I am not ready to talk about it” frogs. Should I ask a question, and she doesn’t feel ready to share, she can send the red frog jumping and we will move on. The yellow frogs are the “I think I want to talk about it but I'll need your help”. When this frog jumps, I will be challenged to come up with an idea to help communicate her response. Next the green frogs were introduced. These are the “I think I'll try to answer this question” frogs. When the green frog jumps, I know to be patient and to let her take as much time as she needs to respond. Finally, the blue frog was introduced – he has a special role. This frog can veto any other frog, thus, giving her permission to change her mind.

Working with children who have been exposed to and/or experienced abuse in the home are often left with a feeling of powerlessness and a difficulty trusting adults. Recognizing this, I hope I have given this little girl a sense of power and control, if only for our one hour together, in an otherwise confusing time.

I found these frogs through the following link: http://www.frogstore.com/catalog/Jumping-Frog-Game-p-3079.html