12 JANUARY 2000
21 Memos from your Child
- Don't spoil me. I know quite well that I ought
not to have all that I ask for. I'm only testing you.
- Don't be afraid to be firm with me. I prefer it, it makes me feel more
secure.
- Don't let me form bad habits. I have to
rely on you to detect them in the early stages.
- Don't make me feel smaller than I am. It only makes me behave stupidly “big."
- Don't correct me in front of people if
you can help it. I'll take much more notice if you talk quietly with me
in public.
- Don't make me feel my mistakes are
sins. It upsets my sense of values.
- Don't
protect me from consequences. I need to learn the painful way,
sometimes.
- Don't be too upset when I say “I hate
you". It is not you I hate but your power to thwart me.
- Don't take too much notice of my small ailments. Sometimes they get me
the attention I need.
- Don't nag. lf you do, I shall have to
protect myself by appearing deaf.
- Don't forget that I
cannot explain myself as well as I should like. This is why I'm not
always very accurate.
- Don't make rash promises. Remember
that I feel badly let down when promises are broken.
- Don't
tax my honesty too much. I am easily frightened into telling lies.
- Don't be inconsistent. That completely confuses me and makes
me lose faith in you.
- Don't tell me my fears are silly.
They are terribly real and you can do much to reassure me if you try to
understand.
- Don't put me off when I ask questions. If you
do, you will find that I stop asking and seek my information elsewhere.
- Don't ever suggest that you are perfect or infallible. It
gives me too great a shock when I discover that you are neither.
- Don't ever think it is beneath your dignity to apologise to me. An
honest apology makes me feel surprisingly warm towards you.
- Don't forget how quickly I am growing up. It must be very difficult to
keep pace with me, but please do try.
- Don't forget I love
experimenting. I couldn't get on without it, so please put up with it.
- Don't forget that I can't thrive without lots of understanding
and love – but don't need to tell you that, do I!