ListenFritz Redl, who is a seminal author in CYC practice, had a clear understanding of the complexity of our task in CYC work. He described the easiness of listing the changes needed by our youth and families, very eloquently voiced in treatment meetings by a host of professionals. The missing link in all this verbiage is how to get these youth and families to willingly accept all this “medicine” in their treatment. Redl understood that the much more difficult task of building cooperation and self-responsibility was never addressed, which he knew was the professional task of the CYC team.
Redl described being a doctor who bringing his black bag of medicine into the youth or family’s presence, and they either run away or kick the bag over. Getting the patient to willingly participate will be a major ingredient in the process.
Our focus on relational practice is finally addressing this critical ingredient in helping dynamics. Too often programs have tried to impose recommendations and changes on people without any genuine consideration for how they see their reality. Many plans foisted on young people and families are based on the personal perspective of the helper. That is, they state what the helpers would do if they were in the same situation. Program objectives are also based on safety and avoiding liability more than the needs of the young person or family.
Garfat has an elegant description of relational dynamics, he calls it joining together in “the inter-personal in-between” (Garfat, 2012). This space expects that both people will be able to see past their own personal life logic and accept other ways of seeing things. By stepping outside of one’s own framework, it allows us to hear another explanation for how things are. Hopefully this will happen for both the helper and the other participant.
Each of us is controlled by what we call common sense, which is different for everyone. One of the reasons that young people and families resist our help is that they believe that the helper’s way of seeing the world would not work very well in their lives. Basically, the good advice offered so confidently by the helper is rightfully rejected as unrealistic.
Relational practice occurs in this in-between space, and it expects both parties to have respect for opinions different than their own, while still maintaining their own perspective. Helpers can only be effective if they believe they have something to offer, but young people and families must hold onto their lifelong values and beliefs which have served them well. There will be behaviors proposed by both sides that will be challenging to accept as legitimate and listening for the values expressed rather than the method of expressing them will require good faith by everyone.
Reference
Garfat, T. (2012). The inter-personal in-between: an exploration of relational CYC practice. In Bellefeuille et al (eds.). Standing on the precipice, 2nd edition. Edmonton, AB. MacEwan Press.
