Teen-age talk: Not necessarily a reflection of past or future behavior

Henry Maier

Recently a group of friends visited at our home. They happen to all be parents of teen-agers and after a time the conversation shifted to sharing experiences with their own adolescents. They soon discovered that their youngsters tended to talk “big"; in other words, that frequently there was no evidence that their son or daughter had actually participated in or had any concrete plans to carry out many of the activities they boasted about.

This collection of parents described that when their adolescents were “hanging out" with peers they would allude to car-speeding sprees or beer consumption at a public park, etc. But as the conversation continued, each couple also questioned whether or not these exploits represented more fantasy than doing. The parents confirmed that the spontaneous bragging could and probably does signify a generation of loud talkers about possible behavior choices: toying with trouble, a kind of “as-if" experience.

Father and mother alike had, they said, somehow learned to acknowledge their child's interest and preoccupation with the many exciting available possibilities in the many areas of experimentation. The parents seemed to be saying it is not a time to panic. Instead, better to resist overreacting, to listen carefully and to respond selectively.

It struck me that a powerful discovery had emerged. Cheers to these parents and their kids.