The Different Sameness

August. Here in the northern part of the Americas it evokes mixed feelings – the depth of summer and the hint of summer ending. When we were kids, August was the time of most intense play, rushing to fill the days with summer experiences in a furious attempt to deny the coming of school. As the days passed the intensity increased.

I was listening to some youth in a program the other day and they were doing the same thing – years pass, generations change, and some things remain the same. They were rushing to fill their days before the summer passed.

I think we forget that sometimes. That there are experiences that are the same now as they were years ago. That there are ways of being that are similar. We so often talk about “how kids are different”, “how the world is different”, or about how their experiences are different than ours were. But some things remain the same. Development occurs in stages, the cycles of nature continue unaltered, relationships are the constant context of our being.

Other things change, that is true. But even in the “differentness” there is sameness. Food changes – but it still feeds the body. Dress codes change – but they still serve to identify us. The music is different – and it still leads the dance.

Lilah shared with me the story of how she met her boyfriend and fell in love. I told her of how I met Sylviane and fell in love. Different times, different stories, common threads. Shared stories from different worlds. We didn’t know each other but the similarity of experience allowed us to explore ways of connecting. Time, context and many generations separate us. The sameness connects us.

Next time I see the “different” I am going to remember to look for the sameness as well – because in the sameness, in the timelessness of common experiences, we might find entry points for connection.

The commonality of experiencing builds bridges. And the bridge becomes a truly common experience.

Thom