Book description:
Using what's called action research, Cornell University professor Garbarino and therapist deLara interviewed students, educators and administrators to probe the issue of bullying in American schools. They've included interviews debunking the premise that kids can deflect taunts and jeers by using the familiar defense "sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me." Parents, teachers and counselors must remove their nostalgically rooted, rose-colored lenses and listen to teens, Garbarino and deLara say, in an effort to provide them with the safety they crave and need. Positing that psychological stabbings are all too common in adolescents' daily lives and that many of them feel powerless to defend themselves, the authors portray teens who believe they must endure emotional violence because adults aren't going to do anything about it (while others lash out against emotional abuse with physical violence). Although teenagers inevitably segment themselves into social groups, measures can be taken to quash bullying (the authors suggest broadening a student's peer group, lobbying for school uniforms and promoting character education, among other things). The revealing student interviews give depth to Garbarino and deLara's extensive knowledge in the field of teen psychology, and this effective guide will help adult readers truly understand the cruelty and violence present in today's schools.

Book description:
Whether it's shocking TV coverage of a violent teen's lethal rampage or an encounter with a screaming toddler at the supermarket, most onlookers naturally wonder, "What kind of parents raised this kid?" Parents Under Siege politely volleys that question right back over the net with a community-wide call for compassion and accountability. In bold defense of the accused, child psychologist James Garbarino and child advocate Claire Bedard declare that parents are responsible � but not to blame � for the actions and behaviors of their offspring. They demonstrate that the road to empowered parenting begins with a critical look at each child's temperament and surrounding social environment. Garbarino and Bedard equip readers for this important task with a "conceptual toolbox": 10 fundamental strategies to analyze, jimmy, prop, or repair an array of developmental leaks, squeaks, sags, and clogs. With clear, real-life examples, they demonstrate each tool's role in bolstering the parent's abilities to understand deeply, cultivate mindfulness, and adjust their own behaviors as needed. This compassionate work--grounded in a strong religious foundation � blends research studies, parental testimony, and insights from spiritual leaders including the Dalai Lama. It stands out as a practical and empathic guide to parenting responsibly.

Book review:
Stories about violence perpetrated by children and adolescents make the front pages with disturbing regularity. What is less well known is that 10 percent of young people who commit homicides come from sound homes with functioning families. Garbarino and Bedard probe the so-called "impossible" children those who go awry despite loving, supportive parents ranging from those who make daily life difficult to those who tragically commit murder. The authors combine research and interviews (including interviews with the parents of Dylan Klebold, the Columbine school shooter perhaps the most famous and tragic example of a "difficult" child from a stable home) with statistical analysis to present a startling picture of the changing culture of parenting in America. They offer the consolation that parents are not to blame when things go wrong, and provide some advice on how to intervene early enough to make a difference. Reaching no easy answers, the authors show how the interplay of personal temperament, family involvement and social pressures can create a recipe for children to become unhinged, secretive, disengaged and possibly violent. Though repetitive, dense and hard to follow at points, this book offers a sound theoretical starting point for parents grappling with a difficult child. It also lists many helpful resources, Web sites and groups, along with suggested further reading.