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And Words Can Hurt Forever : How to Protect Adolescents from
Bullying, Harassment, and Emotional Violence
by James Garbarino and Ellen deLara



Book review:
Using what's called action research, Cornell University professor Garbarino (Lost Boys) and therapist deLara interviewed students, educators and administrators to probe the issue of bullying in American schools. They've included interviews debunking the premise that kids can deflect taunts and jeers by using the familiar defense "sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me." Parents, teachers and counselors must remove their nostalgically rooted, rose-colored lenses and listen to teens, Garbarino and deLara say, in an effort to provide them with the safety they crave and need. Positing that psychological stabbings are all too common in adolescents' daily lives and that many of them feel powerless to defend themselves, the authors portray teens who believe they must endure emotional violence because adults aren't going to do anything about it (while others lash out against emotional abuse with physical violence). Although teenagers inevitably segment themselves into social groups, measures can be taken to quash bullying (the authors suggest broadening a student's peer group, lobbying for school uniforms and promoting character education, among other things). The revealing student interviews give depth to Garbarino and deLara's extensive knowledge in the field of teen psychology, and this effective guide will help adult readers truly understand the cruelty and violence present in today's schools.

Book description:
Despite the best intentions of school administrators, educators, and parents, many high schools � even those that have addressed bullying and are considered safe � unwittingly support and enable hostile and threatening environments. As a society, we are only just beginning to understand the degree of damage that bullying inflicts on individual teenagers and on their relationships later in life. In this groundbreaking work, James Garbarino, the bestselling author of Lost Boys, and Ellen deLara uncover the staggering extent of emotional cruelty and its ramifications and counter the nursery rhyme that words don't hurt. Through hundreds of interviews, the authors provide a direct word-for-word view into the thinking of adolescents and the strategies they use to keep themselves safe during the school day.
 


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The Bully Free Classroom: Over 100 Tips and Strategies for Teachers
by Allan L. Beane



Book review:
 "This is one of the best books out there that addresses the school bully issue. This book is full oflists and charts that you can use. Although it is targeted for elementary and middle school aged kids, any parent, teacher, or other school official can benefit from this book. Dr. Beane has done some great research, all of which has been put into the writing of this book. He is one of the leading experts in this field, and has a lot of good information. I strongly recommend this book...thanks for everything Dr. Beane, I know the knowledge I've gained from you will be helpful inall of my educational endeavours. "
 

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Bullying at School: What We Know and What We Can Do (Understanding Children's Worlds)
by Dan Olweus

Description:
Bullying at School is the definitive book on bully/victim problems in school and on effective ways of counteracting and preventing such problems. On the basis of the author's large-scale studies and other research, it is known that bullying is a serious problem in all societies that have been studied so far, and that more than 15 percent of the school population in primary and secondary/junior high schools are involved, either as bullies or victims. The facts about bullying, its causes and consequences, are presented in clear and straightforward language. The book is a milestone in the study of bullying at school in that it offers a scientifically evaluated intervention program. The results of this extensive research are remarkable: a reduction of bully/victim problems by 50 percent or more a considerable drop in antisocial behavior such as vandalism, theft, drunkenness, and truancy clear improvements in the "social climate" ofthe classroom and student satisfaction with school life. The book gives practical advice to school principals, teachers, and parents on how to implement a "whole school approach to bullying," and contains a valuable guide to help teachers and parents recognize if a child is being victimized or bullies others. Bullying at School is essential reading for all who are involved with children and young people.
 

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Bullying Prevention Handbook: A Guide for Principals, Teachers, and Counselors
by John H. Hoover and Ronald Oliver



Book description:
This handbook provides a comprehensive tool for understanding, preventing, and reducing the day-to-day teasing and harassment referred to as bullying. Effective teaching and counseling models include:

  • A comprehensive, step-by-step bullying intervention model that can be implemented school, agency, or community-wide
  • Specific strategies that teachers, administrators, and counselors can use when working with bullies and their scapegoats,
  • Assessment and evaluation tools for anti-bullying efforts,
  • Ways to improve the families of bullies and scapegoats.
     

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The Bully, the Bullied, and the Bystander: From Preschool to High School, How Parents and Teachers Can Help Break the Cycle of Violence
by Barbara Coloroso

Book Description
Drawing on her decades of work with troubled youth and her wide experience with conflict resolution and reconciliatory justice, bestselling parenting educator Barbara Coloroso offers a unique, practical, and compassionate book destined to become a groundbreaking guide to this escalating problem. Coloroso helps readers recognize the characteristic triad of bullying: the bully who perpetrates the harm; the bullied who is the target (and who may become a bully); and the bystander -- the peers, siblings, or adults who don�t act to defuse the situation.
Readers learn:

  • What bullying is and what it isn�t; the three kinds of bullying; and the differences and similarities between boy and girl bullies
  • Why contempt, not anger, drives bullying
  • Why hazing is a form of bullying and how cliques feed the problem
  • The differences between teasing and taunting and between flirting and sexual bullying
  • How to read the subtle clues that a child is being bullied
  • Four abilities that protect your child from succumbing to a bully
  • Seven steps to take if your child is a bully
  • How to help the bullied child heal; effectively discipline rather than punish the bully; and
    increase a child�s ability to take positive action
  • Why teaching a "code of compassion" is a more powerful antidote to bullying than conflict
    resolution techniques
  • Why zero tolerance policies can equal zero thinking
  • How to evaluate a school�s antibullying policy and much more

Book review:
This is an extremely helpful book that both parents and teachers can use to deal with bullying, an aspect of school that the author feels "is a life-and-death issue that we ignore at our children's peril." Staring with a bottom-line assumption that "bullying is a learned behavior," Coloroso (Parenting Through Crisis) wonderfully explains not only the ways that the bully, the bullied and the bystander are "three characters in a tragic play" but also how "the scripts can be rewritten, new roles created, the plot changed." For each of the three "characters," she breaks down the behavior that defines each role, analyzes the specific ways that each character can have their behaviors changed for the better, and suggests a range of methods that parents and educators can use to identify bullying behavior and deal with it effectively. The book also provides excellent insights into behaviors related to but not always recognized as bullying, such as cliques, hazing, taunting and sexual bullying. And while there have been numerous books about bullies, this volume is perhaps best for its sections on the "bystander," the person whose behavior is too often overlooked or excused. Coloroso's emphasis on aikido-related defensive skills do not sufficiently address the issue of what a child is to do when physical force is necessary to stop a bully, but overall this is an important look at the ways that bullied children can affirm their dignity and self-worth.


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Bullies & Victims: Helping Your Child Survive the Schoolyard
Battlefield
by Suellen Fried and Paula Fried

Book reviews:
"Suellen Fried, a dance therapist and community activist who has headed the National Committee to Prevent Child Abuse, and her daughter Paula, a psychotherapist, here collaborate on a thorough analysis of peer abuse among children. The book opens with a definition of bullying that examines when harmless teasing crosses the line to become abuse. Later chapters examine physical, verbal, emotional, and sexual abuse among peers, with key ideas clarified by real-life examples. The final chapters suggest ways to empower children, including adult intervention and educational programs in school settings. Both broad and deep, this thoughtful overview of a common problem is recommended for public and academic libraries ?"
"Parents receive an important guide to helping a child survive schoolyard bullying in a title which surveys peer abuse and provides suggestions for parental intervention and reaction. Understand different forms of bullying and different levels of response to its presence through a book written by a professional psychologist and a committee founder. "

Book description:
Bullies and Victims explores the context of teasing and the power of relationships between children, as well as the roles of adults, schools, the media, and society at large.
 


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Odd Girl Out: The Hidden Culture of Aggression in Girls
 by Rachel Simmons

Book reviews:
There is little sugar but lots of spice in journalist Rachel Simmons's brave and brilliant book that skewers the stereotype of girls as the kinder, gentler gender. Odd Girl Out begins with the premise that girls are socialized to be sweet with a double bind: they must value friendships; but they must not express the anger that might destroy them. Lacking cultural permission to acknowledge conflict, girls develop what Simmons calls "a hidden culture of silent and indirect aggression."
The author, who visited 30 schools and talked to 300 girls, catalogues chilling and heartbreaking acts of aggression, including the silent treatment, note-passing, glaring, gossiping, ganging up, fashion police, and being nice in private/mean in public. She decodes the vocabulary of these sneak attacks, explaining, for example, three ways to parse the meaning of "I'm fat."
Simmons is a gifted writer who is skilled at describing destructive patterns and prescribing clear-cut strategies for parents, teachers, and girls to resist them. "The heart of resistance is truth telling," advises Simmons. She guides readers to nurture emotional honesty in girls and to discover a language for public discussions of bullying. She offers innovative ideas for changing the dynamics of the classroom, sample dialogues for talking to daughters, and exercises for girls and their friends to explore and resolve messy feelings and conflicts head-on.
One intriguing chapter contrasts truth telling in white middle class, African-American, Latino, and working-class communities. Odd Girl Out is that rare book with the power to touch individual lives and transform the culture that constrains girls � and boys � from speaking the truth.

Book description:
Dirty looks and taunting notes are just a few examples of girl bullying that girls and women have long suffered through silently and painfully. With this book Rachel Simmons elevated the nation's consciousness and has shown millions of girls, parents, counselors, and teachers how to deal with this devastating problem. Poised to reach a wider audience in paperback, including the teenagers who are its subject, Odd Girl Out puts the spotlight on this issue, using real-life examples from both the perspective of the victim and of the bully.
 

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