Respect for others, always
One of my favourite quotes states that true friends are not just there when it's convenient, but when it's not. When we find ourselves facing a difficult situation and our friends turn into ostriches, heads firmly planted in the sand, we feel justifiably abandoned. Too few, it seems, want to help with the more difficult times. There are critical moments when we need to come to the aid of others. This is especially true when bullying or domestic abuse occurs.
Bullying can have crippling effects on our youth. Luckily our school and legal systems take this problem seriously and positive improvements have been made in this area. Raising awareness of bullying has helped to reduce the incidents of this behaviour and, as a result, has made for healthier schools and communities. Unfortunately, though, the problem exists.
When someone is being bullied, it is important for friends to take a stand and offer help. This can mean intervening physically if necessary, but, at the very least, reporting the incident to a teacher or other figure of authority at the school. Pretending it doesn't exist is inexusable. It isolates the victim and enables the abuse. Be wary of being the avoider. No one wants to be the person who is aware of harmful, hurtful situations and does nothing to stop or prevent them.
Bullying can also occur at home as do countless other forms of domestic abuse. The results of these behaviours have effects that last a lifetime. Abuse comes in many forms. It can be subtle or overt. It is frightening and serious and is too often suppressed and not exposed to even our closest friends. The lack of respect shown by one person to another in such a situation is at the far end of the spectrum. Without intervention, however, we cannot live in a healthy society. It is vital for victims to speak up.
There is help and there are processes in place today that did not exist when I was young. We must have respect for ourselves, first and foremost, otherwise we are likely to pass an unhealthy way of life onto our children. It's crucial to have healthy, meaningful interactions with other people and foster these at an early age.
There is another form of community involvement that also shows care for one's fellow man. That occurs when we involve ourselves in projects that are far-reaching and may not even be completed within our lifetime. Examples of this would be a variety of environmental projects, anti-poverty initiatives and business revitalization plans that offer help to a community in crisis. There are examples of such support everywhere. And there are many opportunities to get involved.
Being part of such positive action makes us feel good about ourselves and, at the same time, makes significant effects on the world around us. Often it is not what we get out of the participation, but the act of participating itself that is most important.
Seeing success elsewhere is what feeds us to continue taking action in our own communities. Think of the number of organizations that began generations ago which are bearing the fruit from the seeds planted by our forefathers. Think of how we can breathe a sigh of relief knowing that certain habitats will remain undisturbed in perpetuity. Think of the numbers of jobs that are created as the result of the initiatives and risks taken by the visionaries with whom we live.
We are fortunate to have extraordinary leaders. Frequently our leaders are diverse souls who think outside of their own needs first. These are folks who come from all walks of life and improve our daily existence by making our communities healthier, safer and more congenial. Their behaviour is contagious. We are afforded the comfort and strength of intervention in difficult times and support and nurture at all times. We accept the idea that inconvenience and neglect are not part of how we show respect for ourselves and those around us.
Jay Remer
5 December 2009
