When a teenager's behavior becomes difficult, parents worry. They consult experts and read books, determined to "fix" the problem. They want to help. But in the end, according to a Chico woman who has spent her career working with at-risk youth, the root of the problem is often simple.
"Kids believe their feelings are not heard, that they are not listened to. It's not important if that's true. It's how they feel. Every behavior serves a purpose. It's working for them — and when it stops working, their behavior becomes a habit. It's reflexive."
These thoughts belong to Karen Abel, a self-described, once-difficult teenager and new executive director of Community Collaborative for Youth. CCY serves high risk youth who have experienced poverty, violence, substance abuse or juvenile crime.
"I tell kids the reason we don't communicate effectively is that it takes so long. We are caught up in so many agendas these days. I love kids, and I have literally worked with hundreds of them," Abel said Wednesday from the CCY office on Cedar Street.
Back to dealing with negative teen behavior: It doesn't have to be as serious as truancy or breaking the law. She used arguing as an example. "If a teen can get a reaction out of someone, they've won. That's how they see it. Our job is to teach replacement behavior, to address what the need is."
Abel also used the example of blaming other
people for negative situations and problems. "It's an anger style to
look at other people, instead of yourself. Kids need to recognize, 'I
put myself here.'
"When I first started working in alternative ed, it became clear kids
were not getting behavioral — social and emotional — learning. There was
no solid program. "Now, you go into the schools any day, and see they
are receiving leadership and life skills in alternative education."
Abel says her ideas, and those of other professionals working with young people, help them believe in themselves, care about others and face a positive future.
CCY was founded 15 years ago, and has grown to include other nonprofit groups and agencies that work in collaboration to help teenagers develop resiliency, self-awareness and self-esteem. It stresses reducing violence and building community. It helps teens learn to speak out and accept other people, regardless of differences.
Mary Nugent
29 April 2008
