The complete set of 198 Hints are available in paperback from the CYC-Net Press store.
Listen
Have you ever watched people sitting in the waiting room of a public hospital? They generally fall into three categories ...
First are those who are untroubled about being there. They take the hospital visit in their stride, they don’t mind having to wait a while, and understand that they are there in the interests of their health.
Second are those who are anxious about the visit. They look up expectantly whenever someone enters the waiting room. Is it my turn now? Have they come for me? Is this the moment? They may be trying to read a book or play with a game, but they are only half concentrating on these, and are easily distracted by any movement or change in the room. They watch the eyes of the newcomer, wanting to signal their need, attract attention, anxious not to be left out or to miss their proper turn.
Then there are those who are afraid – maybe the dentist’s waiting room is closer to this third scenario! They would rather not have to go through this appointment. They experience a feeling of apprehension when the door opens, they would happily slouch down in order to be missed when their turn comes or become fiercely "engrossed" in the book. They may wander down the passage – or happily go home with some story about the hospital being too busy or the doctor didn’t turn up.
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In our practice today we are keenly aware of the levels of expectation of those we work with. The untroubled are those who are coping satisfactorily. They have come to trust the environment, understand its purpose, and can wait until their appointment at 4.00 pm. We have, between us, reached the point where we are operating on a reasonable, verbal level, and are probably looking ahead to re-entry into family and/or community.
The anxious ones we immediately recognise for their need for attention. Is it my turn now? We often have no idea of our acute significance when we walk as adults into the company of needy children and youth: that they long to be noticed, acknowledged, included – not as a treat or a kind tidbit, but as a means to engagement, an opportunity for a real encounter. Is it my turn now?
And those who are hardest to reach, the reluctant and unwilling, who look the other way or hide their presence from us. They often seem to be busy with their own thoughts, even at ease. They are at pains to be unobtrusive, neutral, not warranting an intervention. They are ‘keep-your-distance kids’ who most need us to drop down beside them, to slide into the next seat. Tangled in their least wanting us, they most want us to reach out.
