The complete set of 198 Hints are available in paperback from the CYC-Net Press store.
Listen
The hallmark of Child and Youth Care is that we work in the life space of young people and their families – and we use everyday events as the medium of our involvement and our relationships. Thus, the "daily round" (of waking, cleaning, eating, learning, talking, playing) is our place of work, and we must, in the most appropriate ways, be present within those events.
Because we also find ourselves as the "responsible adults" within living situations, our special way of working can easily be subverted into the control and supervision of the everyday events rather than as fellow participants in the events. How we attend the everyday events is a crucial consideration for our effectiveness.
Mealtimes offer us the very best model for being present at daily events. We recognise mealtimes as unique opportunities for being alongside kids, when we are sitting together with a degree of intimacy and for extended periods, when we can interact in a role-free way, simply as fellow diners at the table. In the "bad old days" staff didn’t eat with the youth, and spent mealtimes on issues like "Sit up straight" or "Don’t talk with you mouth full." Today it is hard enough to find times when we can be with kids, so we are sure to make and keep whatever appointments with them that we can – the times when we can listen and understand, build their sense of self and their significance for others, offer engagement to offset their rejection, optimism for their sense of defeat.
So, attend these everyday events! Eat with the kids. And work out the best ways in which you can be truly present at those other events like tidying up and learning and talking and playing – and thus have the opportunity to work at our incremental daily tasks and objectives in rebuilding and restoring young people and families.
