The complete set of 198 Hints are available in paperback from the CYC-Net Press store.
Listen
How often do you feel that the pressure is on you to take responsibility for the behaviour and maturity of the youth you work with? We easily get the feeling that "society" (whatever that is) is leaning on us to get these kids out of their hair. "Society" here may mean the mayor and/or the politicians, the state welfare department or the agency who sent the kids to you in the first place. Closer to home, the school, and maybe the neighbours who live up and down the street where our agency lives, are leaning on us to see that the kids are not a nuisance, that they are unobtrusive and polite and pose no threat to their peace and quiet. Maybe it’s the families, the moms and dads and grandparents and uncles who have been struggling with these youngsters who say to you (in reality or in your mind) "OK Mr or Ms Child and Youth Care Worker, so you think you can do better than we did, how are you managing our kid today?
Well today you can have the day off. Forget about the kids' behaviour. What difference will one day make? Today we are taking the pressure off so that you can devote some time to yourself, your focus, your presence of mind, your own growth.
Your task: Simply try to learn more about what these kids think and feel, listen to them, interpret their (often harsh) words and their (often frightening and challenging) actions. See what you make of their noise and their silences. Ask yourselves. Ask them. What is it about their attacks and their hurts? Their acting big and their inner smallness. Aim today to educate yourself, to open yourself to what you see and hear, so that you end your shift with more understanding, more empathy, a more real picture of who this kid is, this kid who goes out every day to survive and manage and win or lose or hurt or be hurt ...
Imagine yourself in their position – how you would be feeling about stuff, what you would do, what you would long for. Feel and think yourself into where they are, into the choices they are making, the shreds of resources which they are drawing on, the limited knowledge and skills at their disposal, the tasks they face ... walk a mile in their shoes.
And then come on in to work again tomorrow, with all the pressure back on.
