The complete set of 198 Hints are available in paperback from the CYC-Net Press store.
Listen
Information – the easy giftEver notice how often the youth approach us because they want to know something? Are we allowed to ...? Who knows about the plans for ...? Have you heard from my father? Will the Board decide today about ...? Was there mail for me today? There are two or three sides to this.
The world is not always easily understood by kids who have been through chaotic times – moves, changes, separations and losses. (How will I get to school? Will I still be able to see Colin?) When they have been managed by bureaucratic agencies there are sequences, reasons and delays which make them feel powerless. (How long will it take? What is in that file?) When there are decisions to be made that affect them directly they are anxious and angry when excluded. (Why can’t they ...? How am I supposed to ...?)
Sometimes we withhold information for unworthy reasons – we feel important when we know things and information becomes a commodity to trade with. Or we are disapproving of a youth’s actions and we "let them stew" for a while. We are irritated by repeated questions and we fail to recognise their significance to the young person – we leave them unnecessarily in a state of distress
Sharing information is a basic quality of respect and hospitality, especially to people in difficulty. When we have house guests we are careful to point out where more towels can be found and where the nearest convenience store is. When someone on the street asks for directions we are quick to be helpful.
Our major goal in working with youth is to keep them functional. When they "don’t know" they are left in a state of limbo: they cannot make a decision, let alone an informed decision, about what to do next. We often criticise the choices they make, but then as their adults we must be sure that we have provided enough raw material with which they can make better choices.
Letting kids know (as individuals or as a group) what will be happening today, tomorrow, next week, shines light into their futures and gives them less to be unsure about, more trust in the world and their place in it. And it’s free! It costs you nothing more that sparing a thought.
Tell them.
