The complete set of 198 Hints are available in paperback from the CYC-Net Press store.
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Keeping connectedWhen a child has been through such difficult times that admission to our special program becomes necessary, we are easily preoccupied by all that we have to do. This starts with reaching past the hurt and confusion to the point where we can begin to work on the emotional, social and cognitive roadblocks which are incapacitating the young person. There is the assessment, the intervention planning, the engaging, the meetings, the day-to-day management of the environment ...
It’s easy to forget our responsibility for keeping youngsters connected to their own world back home, their family (often itself divided and separated), their neighbourhood, friends, roles ...
However tangled and distressing the relationships and circumstances at home may be, kids look for the reassurance that their people are still there. Without news and information and contact, they become more and more anxious. We know that it is the situation back home which the child must ultimately be able to manage – not the details of our program or the expectations of us who work in the program.
We are not rescuing children from home and family, but making it possible for home and family to work better for the children. Long after we have left our program and moved on to other jobs and other children, these youngsters will somehow still be connected, possibly never comfortably or contented, but nevertheless connected, with family. Whatever we may be able to add toward better relationships, better functioning – or just coping – we help most by keeping young people connected to their homes. One thing studies seem to have shown us is that kids do better when they leave us if they have been in touch with the realities of home and family while they are with us.
Keep them connected.
