The complete set of 198 Hints are available in paperback from the CYC-Net Press store.
ListenThose of us who work with difficult kids are often enticed by two opposite responses: stop them doing what they’re doing; or force them to do what we think they should do. Such authoritarian and external controls fall into the "quick-and-dirty" category of Child and Youth Care interventions. They tempt us because they look so efficient and effective. Bad behaviour banished, perfect behaviour performed – and the results last for between three and seven minutes.
In cases of assaultive or otherwise dangerous behaviour we will naturally have to respond at once, in the interests of the immediate situation. But these in situ actions seldom contribute to long-term solutions.
No, our only real choice as Child and Youth Care workers is the middle course: that of working, painstakingly and sometimes over long periods, at the issues which underlie the difficult behaviour – from the point of view of the youth, his or her needs and perceptions, the context and circumstances, the consequences on all concerned, and so on.. This middle course is the hard choice. It means observing and trying to understand the meaning and intention of the behaviour. Our focus is on aspects such as maturity and immaturity, emotional arousal and self-control, cognitive grasp of one’s actions, accountability and responsibility, options and choices, laws and values ... (Simply stopping or enforcing changed behaviour doesn’t allow us any time to do this.)
Our aim is not simplistically to make the behaviour disappear. Rather it is to work with the youngster towards the next occasion when more mature self-management and more pro-social functioning is called for ... and so to work towards the time when we are no longer around to offer mediation, protection and teaching.
In our practice today we will realise that continuing inappropriate behaviour is a sign that more needs to be learned and mastered.
